Josh wants out in a bad way!

 

Josh with Cindi and Sara, OTs.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Josh wants out in a bad way!  Last night he told me at least twenty times, "Mom, let's go."  I keep telling him he has to get better first, but Josh insists that he is better.  The good thing is Josh wants to go home, but the bad thing is he doesn't realize what he needs to do in order to go home.  This is tough for all of us....

Josh is also going through what's called confabulation which is common with brain injuries.   He fabricates ideas and is insistent on doing things which make no sense.  For example, a few days ago after hbot, Josh was insisting that we stay and watch the fight after his treatment.  "Mom, we gotta stay here and watch the fight."  I say, "Josh, there is no fight.  You are just thinking in your mind that there is a fight."  Josh was ranting and raving insisting that we stay.   In the van on the way back to Sharp, Josh was screaming and swearing, "F you, Mom.  You let Natalie stay and watch the fight.  We have to go back there.  Hey, Eddie (Josh calls Mike, the driver, Eddie), turn this van around and go back.  I have to watch the fight...."   

We can't reason with Josh today.  We get back to Sharp, one of the nurses asks Josh how he is.  Josh replies, "Shitty.  I hate my mom."   The nurse laughs.  Josh is so angry about "the fight". 

I now start second guessing myself about the hbot and am thinking that it is over-stimulating him in a bad way.  I talked to Dr. S about it yesterday.  I told him what happened with Josh and how unreasonable he was....  Dr. S says to continue with the 40 block treatment.  We decide that it would be a good idea to hydrate Josh and feed him before each hbot since hbot burns through the blood sugar quickly and gets you stimulated.  Dr. S also tells me that what Josh is doing is very typical - this confabulation thing.... 

Josh is also acting impulsively overconfident in trying to get up and walk when he doesn't have the coordination yet.  This is a tough thing to deal with since Josh is so strong and I am not the biggest person...

Yesterday, Dr. S put a cast on Josh's left arm to straighten it out.  When I arrived at the hospital and saw the cast, I panicked and thought Josh broke his arm.  Dr. S will leave the cast on with Josh's arm extended in a certain position and will then recast in a few days to further extend Josh's arm out and repeat the process until Josh can fully straighten out the left arm. 

On a good note, Josh is gaining weight and has a great appetite.  All is going well with the swallowing.  He is chowing down that nasty hospital food! 

We'll see what today brings.  How about a miraculous recovery, Josh!  That would be wonderful! 

 

   

 

We had our first rehabilitation team conference at Sharp.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Today I met Josh's entire medical team in the conference room of Sharp Rehab and discussed Josh's treatment plan and progress. Josh was present at the meeting and acted appropriately, nodding his head after everyone spoke.   Dr. Stenehjem led the meeting and each therapist spoke individually about Josh's progress.  Everyone says he is doing incredibly well and is advancing along nicely.  Josh's PT, OT, and speech therapist gave Josh rave reviews. 

Josh has a neuropsychologist,  Dr. Juan Hill, who will be conducting various cognitive tests on Josh.  He seems like a nice guy.  I also met the social worker who will provide me with various resource information and support.  I am going to my first class today in the education room on communication, cognition and swallowing.  (Just what I always wanted to do!) 

I also have a case manager at Sharp who will go to bat for me with the insurance company.  She is a nice gal, Ella.  Her son graduated from UofA last year with a degree from the Eller College of Management, the same program Josh was in.

Dr. S. has eliminated Josh's pain patch and he seems to be doing okay with that.  He was on 25 mcg of fentanyl.  Dr. Tuomi, one of the doctors on the board of directors at San Diego Hyperbarics, says this medicine causes a hard withdrawal but from what I understand, 25 mcg is a low dose.  Dr. S. says he'll slowly wean Josh off the morphine. 

Dr. S. says give Josh TWO YEARS to see his recovery.   That's a long time.  I need to chill out !   

After the meeting Josh says, "Mom, when you leave tell me.  I am coming with you..."     

I felt better after the meeting and went to Bloomingdale's and did some retail therapy damage - new shoes and jewelry, just what I need! 

Josh eats his first meal in almost three months!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Josh passed his modified swallow test which was administered by his speech therapist bedside and enjoyed his first real meal!   This was Josh's first time eating in almost three months!   The meal consisted of salisbury steak ground, carrots chopped fine and mashed potatoes.  To drink Josh had thick cranberry nectar and milk.  Normally, Josh would balk at such a meal, but today he actually ate it.     

Hang in there, buddy.  Soon you'll be eating at Roberto's and Board and Brew! 

 

Josh has beautiful therapists at Sharp Rehab!

Josh with his beautiful therapists at Sharp Rehab.

I think this boy is going to do pretty well with these lovely occupational therapists at Sharp Rehab.  Josh looks pretty happy!

Pictures

Josh with Gina (also a patient) at San Diego Hyperbarics. 

  

Josh with head nurse, Janet, at CareMeridian 

Josh with Justin, Bob Sands' son (designer of chamber) at San Diego Hyperbarics

Josh with Thelma (nurses assistant) at CareMeridian

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Josh is looking pretty good, isn't he?  He has a good attitude lately and hopefully will thrive in acute rehab.   Come on, Josh, put on some speed, buddy, and get better fast!  I'll give you until tomorrow to make a full recovery! 

 

 

 

Josh enjoys cranial sacral therapy by new therapist, Ann

Monday, June 18, 2007

Here's a picture of Josh a few days before he pulled out his trach.

Arrived at CareMeridian around noon.  Wheelchair van was waiting to take Josh and me to hbot.  We loaded Josh in the van and headed downtown only to be stuck in horrific traffic due to a series of accidents.  The Market Street ramp was closed.  We were thirty minutes late for hbot but luckily everyone else got stuck in traffic and Josh was able to have his full hour at depth.  Josh did great!  He has had almost 30 treatments.  I rearranged all of Josh's future hbot appointments since he'll be going into Sharp Rehab on Thursday and it's best to have his hbot in the late afternoon after all his therapies.  He'll be tired after his therapies and will most likely sleep in the chamber. 

I want to maximize his time at Sharp Rehab since the insurance company will likely look for a way out early on in treatment.  They want everyone to reach a plateau fast so they get out of paying.  Hbot coupled with acute rehab should get Josh better in a hurry.   That's the idea.  I am trying to be as aggressive as I can.

Josh had four visitors today, Dave Edens, Mikey Weir, Westin and Natalie.  He was wiped out after hbot, but hung out with the guys for a while.  Then Ann, a cranial sacral PT who was filling in for Jon came by and worked on Josh.  He loved it!  Cranial sacral therapy is a technique which seeks to restore the natural rythmic movement found between the bones of the skull and the movements of the sacrum.  It aids the circulation of the cerebrospinal fluid throughout the central nervous system.  It is very subtle.  First Ann was just holding Josh's head with both hands and Josh fell into a deep sleep.  He was snoring.  Then he woke up and mentioned something to Ann about his head.  I guess certain spots on the head can be extremely tender when pressure is added.  Ann then worked with Josh on his arms and legs.  He responded beautifully and was roaring to go.  She told Josh he was doing so well that he was moving on to an acute rehab facility on Thursday. 

 

Josh pulls out his trach and is sent to the hospital!

Sunday, June 17, 2007 

I get a phone call around 1 a.m. from Barbara, the night nurse at CareMeridian.  She tells me Josh has pulled out his trach and was sent to Palomar Hospital.  I speak with the emergency room doctor and he tells me Josh is fine, that he really does not need the trach since he is breathing so well on his own.  He just patched Josh up and sent him back to CareMeridian. 

I arrive at CareMeridian around noon and Josh was hanging out watching the US Open. His trach opening had already closed up.  Reggie says he'll heal up fast.  He was talking non-stop.  Half the time I couldn't understand him.  Reggie told me he was up all night and that he hadn't slept a wink.  Josh was talking about the future.   I couldn't understand him and he was getting frustrated.  So he blurts out F U T U R E , spelling it for me.    I said, "Oh, you're talking about the future."  He says, "Yes, I have a future."  I said "yeah, you do, Josh."  Then he starts babbling away in Spanish.  "Si, si, si si, si" he says.  "No se."  (I don't know) he says about 10 times. Then he looks at the tv and starts talking about Tiger Woods. 

Thoughts and memories are flooding Josh's mind and he is talking about everything and everyone.  It's crazy.  When I want to distract Josh, I give him something hard to do, like unscrewing the top of a bottle.  He'll work with it for a long time and he will eventually do it.  Josh is very determined. 

Yesterday about ten of his friends came by.  We all hung out on the back patio.  It was a beautiful day.  Josh wanted everyone to tell him what their football numbers were.  He was barking orders at everyone. 

  

Josh is hysterically funny today!

Thursday, June 14, 2007     Josh wants out in a bad way.  When I arrive at CareMeridian, Juan is pushing Josh in the wheelchair around the grounds outside.  He sees me and he tries to get out of the chair, lifting his body to get out but the seatbelt is holding him in.  Juan is trying to reason with him.  "Let's get out of here, Mom," Josh yells.  We tell him to hold on, he'll soon be home but he has to get his balance back..  This would have been a great time to get Josh up and walking but Jon, his PT, wasn't there.

We go inside and Tim, his OT, arrives.  Josh is still wanting out and is yelling alot.  "Let's go.  Let's go.  Let's go."  ......  Tim tells Josh he has to chill and work with him.  Tim is showing Josh various hands of cards and asking Josh to pick the better hand.  Josh is right on.  He's making us laugh.  He is yelling which is the better hand.  "Pair of Aces" he screams like we're the idiots.  Tim then gets a ring toss game and is asking Josh to toss the ring on the various pegs.  Josh holds the ring in a throwing position and just freezes for about 10 seconds.  He tells Tim "This is stressing me out."  He's frustrated.  (If I remember correctly Dr. S. said this delayed reaction with brain damage is called aphasia.  I have to research it.)  Josh tells us he wants to go downtown for his oxygen.  He keeps yelling, "where's Eddie?"  He insists on calling Mike, the driver, Eddie.  We keep telling him his name isn't Eddie, it's Mike.  Josh shakes his head like he's disgusted.

Mike arrives.  We go downtown and before Josh goes into the oxygen chamber he says, "are we going to Scalini's tonight?"  He cracks us up.  Josh goes into the chamber willingly.  I think he likes it in there.  I am ready to go in myself.  I will definitely check it out sometime soon!  Bob Sands arrives and we talk for a while about Josh's progess.  He wants me to be aggressive with Josh, not to help him so much, so he'll gain his independence sooner.  He also says to bring him in with scrubs on, that it must be embarassing for Josh to arrive with boxer shorts everyday.  Bob who is the ultimate optimist says JOSH WILL MAKE A FULL AND COMPLETE RECOVERY.  THIS IS JUST A BUMP IN THE ROAD!  I'd say it's a pretty big bump.  Bob always makes you feel good.  He shows me the picture of the guy who had the stroke and how he gave him a cold beer!  Remember that story, Mike?  It's actually on the hbot website.

We arrive back at CareMeridian.  Josh is roaring to go.  Jon arrives, thank heavens, and gets Josh on his feet.  Josh stands up and is walking with help from Jon.  His balance is off and he needs to learn to distribute his weight evenly on both legs.  Josh is yelling and carrying on, calling everyone by their wrong names and has the place in stitches.  It's really not funny, but you can't help but laugh. 

After Josh's PT, he's in his room watching golf and he's yelling at the television.  Later on the news was on and there was something about the war in Iraq and Josh starts screaming at the soldiers on the television, "Don't go to Iraq.  You'll die.  You'll die.  You'll get killed."  Juan is laughing.  Josh is calling Juan Eddie.  We ask what his name is and he is looking for his name tag to read his name.  It seems that Josh has trouble laying down new memories just like Dr. Ahearn said.  Hopefully this will improve with time.  Josh then says "What's CareMeridian?"  Juan tells him.  Josh then tells me, "Mom, you always repeat yourself a thousand times."  

Josh fianlly falls asleep and I leave....    

Josh has a visit from a holistic health practitioner and he loves her!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

When I arrive at CareMeridian, Josh is getting his body massaged with essence of flower extracts and various essential oils by Wilamena, a holistic health practitioner who was recommended by Lori Lawrence, Kyle's mom.  He is in heaven, totally relaxed, grinning from ear to ear.  She is working on his left wrist.  He is not resisting her in any way.  This woman has a gift. 

Mike arrives to take us downtown for hbot.  On the way downtown, Josh calls me an idiot.  He actually said f----- idiot.  He said we were both idiots.  Josh is yelling at the driver saying "Hey Eddie, let's go to your house..."  Josh insists on calling Mike Eddie.   Mike is laughing.  I start laughing and Josh says, "Mom, you are really something.  This is not funny."  I just ignore Josh and read my book.  He settles down. 

We drive past Qualcomm Stadium and Josh tells Mike to get off the freeway here.  I tell Josh there is no game today and that we're going downtown for an oxygen treatment.  He says okay. 

I tell Josh to read the freeway signs and he does.  He reads Market Street.  He tells us this is where we get off which is correct.  We arrive at hbot.  Josh greets the guys like it's old home week.  CJ, one of the directors, can't believe how Josh has progressed.  We put Josh in the chamber and we leave on his speaking valve.  Ivan closes the door and pressurizes the chamber.  He puts on a movie and Josh starts yelling to turn up the volume.  Everyone is laughing.... 

Bob Sands, the owner and engineer who designed the chamber, arrives.  We shoot the breeze while Josh is getting his treatment.  After Josh's treatment, Bob tells Josh that tomorrow he is going to stand up and sit in the chamber chair himself.  He tells Josh that the guys don't need to lift him to put him in the chamber.    Josh says okay.  Bob is amazed at Josh's progress.  He hasn't seen him in weeks.  Josh tells the guys he'll see them tomorrow. 

We drive back to CareMeridian without incident.  Josh is talking away but I can't understand a word he is saying.  He is talking about everything....  When we arrive, Josh's therapist Tim is waiting for Josh.  He begins working on Josh's left hand.  I tell Josh I am going to Starbucks and he says as clear as a bell, "Hold on, Mom, I'm coming with you."  I tell him he needs to work with Tim.  He says okay. 

I take off for a while.  When I get back, Josh is misting the plant with a sprayer following Tim's directives.  Tim is impressed that Josh has such control with his fingers.  Josh is coming along.  He is focused and is responding wonderfully. 

Tim finishes up with Josh.  Josh falls into a deep sleep.  Natalie arrives.  I take off... 

Josh thinks we're going to Hawaii today...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

When I arrived at CareMeridian, Josh was in bed.  He was restless and confused.   His therapists, Jon and Tim, arrived, got him out of bed and into the workout area where Josh stood up holding onto the parallel bars with both hands.  They put a mirror in front of Josh and gave him a brush and told him to brush his hair.  Josh's right arm was shaking but he held his hand up to his head and brushed his hair. 

While he was standing between the parallel bars, he complained that his shoulders were hurting him.  That's because he was holding onto the parallel bars with his hands and the bars were rather high.  Josh's posturing has markedly improved.  Tim and Jon work with Josh a while, then Mike arrives to take us downtown for hbot.

Before we take off Jon tells us he is going to Oahu, the north side of the island, with his girlfriend for a week.  We talk about Hawaii and how beautiful it is, especially the north shore.  Josh is listening to us.  When Mike puts Josh in the van, Josh says we're going to Hawaii.   We all laugh.  I tell Josh we're going downtown for hbot.  He insists we're going to Hawaii....

On the way back from hbot, Josh starts crying and screaming.  He was mad that I was on the phone and wanted to talk to me.  Mike tells Josh that everything is fine and that he's getting better everyday and will soon be home.  Josh smiles.  One minute he's sad, that next he's happy.

We get Josh settled in and I take off.  I am burnt out....

Josh is ready to roll!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I arrive at CareMeridian.  Josh is sitting in his wheelchair shooting the breeze with Neil's (one of his buddies)  parents, Nancy and Jeff.  Josh is acting appropriately.  They are amazed at Josh's progress since they haven't seen him in a few weeks.  This makes me feel great since I see him everyday and the progress seems slow to me.

Dr. Stenehjem, director of Sharp Rehab, comes to the facility and greets us.  Dr. Stenehjem is a great guy, has two sons of his own, ages 21 and 23 and lives in Solana Beach.  He is friendly with a great bedside manner.  I immediately connect with him.  Nancy and Jeff take off and Dr. Stenehjem starts talking to Josh.  Josh is right on, very charming, smiling and is responding to Dr. Stenehjem's questions.  "What kind of sports do you play, Josh?"  Josh says, "football and golf".  He asks Josh to reach out with his right arm.  Josh does it.  Then the left arm.... it's hard for Josh.  He's trying like hell.  Dr. S mentions that he would use some botox in the left lower arm above the wrist to straighten out the wrist.  It is a temporary drug which lasts about three months.  He feels Josh would benefit from that tremendously and be able to use the left hand more freely.  Dr. S is impressed with Josh's strength in his legs and says he is strong.  Dr. S. tells me Josh is a great kid and that he just had some bad luck.  We chat about the fraternity he was in in college.  He says "that could have been me easily..."  I like this guy.  He is not judgmental in any way...

Dr. S tells me that an anoxic injury is better than a traumatic brain injury in some cases since with trauma you often have crushed parts of the brain which do not recover.  Dr. S believes in hyperbaric oxygen therapy and has studied it.  He believes Josh is a prime candidate for acute rehab NOW and says getting hbot would be no problem.  He thinks Josh would benefit immensely from acute rehab coupled with hbot.  He says the trach is probably ready to come out and that would be done in the hospital.  The g-tube would also be removed in the hospital but he would leave that in for a while to administer meds easily.

Dr. S reviews Josh's chart and meds with Marci, the nurse on duty.  He tells me Josh is not overly medicated at this time.  He would reduce thedosage of the pain patch. 

Next step is Dr. S will communicate with the CareMeridian staff about the move to acute rehab.  He says Josh is "more than ready"...   I tell Dr. S. I will take his recommendation and that I am very pleased and thankful he came to the facility on a Sunday morning and was so generous with his time.  Dr. S takes off.

My grilfriend, Ellen, comes to CareMeridian and we hang out with Josh.  Lori and Keri Lawrence,  Josh's buddy Kyle's parents, come to visit.  Josh is acting appropriately and is making us laugh.  Later on the staff puts Josh in a special chair so he can move around and he is like a speed demon on wheels.  I get a chair myself and we were doing all kinds of maneuvering with our legs, stepping with our left leg first, right leg next, etc.  Josh is doing great.  We then played this game where you throw these velcro balls which stick to a board which is similar to a dart board.  Josh is throwing with his right arm.  He's doing great.  He did this about 40 times.  The staff was cheering him on.  He even leaned down to pick up the ball when it fell out of his hand.   Josh is on his way....

Dave Edens' parents arrive, Bruce and Jane and their daughter, Taylor.  Josh is back in his room and is a bit tired.  He is acting appropriately and is making the Edens laugh.  They are amazed and pleased with Josh's progress since they haven't seen him in a while. 

Things are progressing nicely, but Josh, can you put on some speed, buddy???   Your mother is getting weary....  

 

 

 

Josh is doing great today!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Josh has his oxygen treatment today at 9:40 a.m., 1 hour at 1.8 atmospheres.  Josh was cooperative and did great.  He intently studies his surroundings as we are in the van going downtown.  He calls the driver Eddie.  I tell Josh the driver's name is Mike but when I think of it, he looks like a friend of mine named Eddie. 

Josh does well in the chamber.  When we get him out of the chamber and in the wheelchair, he tells Mike, the driver, that he better get gas before he takes off.  Josh makes us laugh.  He then tells us he wants to go to a Padre game.  I tell him I gave Sunday's tickets to Ben, the hbot tech and Josh gets mad.  "Why did you do that?"  I tell him that Ben is a great guy and has been helping us with his oxygen treatments.   Josh nods. 

My brother Mike calls.  I hold the phone to Josh's ear and he says hi.  Don't know whether he understood what Mike was telling him.  After we hung up, Josh mentions Mike's country club.   I tell him when he gets better he can go to Houston and play golf with Mike and Tyler.  I tell him Tyler is at Boy Scout Camp.  Josh nods.    He is understanding what I am saying. 

We arrive back at CareMeridian.  Josh falls asleep in his wheelchair and I take off for the day because it's prom night and I am having a pre-prom party at the house.  Natalie is so excited.  It's her first prom!!  

 

Josh is wired and acting crazy!

Friday, June 8, 2007

We have our oxygen treatment at 9:40 a.m., 1 hour at 1.8 atmospheres.  Josh is fine and is acting appropriately.  He says hi to the techs, greets and smiles at the ladies who are having treatments.  He handles the treatment well.  When we get Josh out of the chamber, he says "I was in there for about half an hour."  We tell him he was in there for over an hour and that he did great.

We arrive back at CareMeridian.  As Josh is sitting in the wheelchair, he unbuckles the seatbelt and says he is leaving with me.  The nurse is reasoning with him.   I leave for several hours and return early evening.

JOSH IS WIRED AND ACTING CRAZY!  He wants OUT!  He is in bed and trying to get up.  He is sitting up with one leg over the rail of the bed.  I tell him he has to wait for Jon and Tim, his therapists, to help him.  He is insisting that he can do it.  He is sweating and is frustrated.  He is yelling.  It is not a pretty sight.  I am wondering if the hbot is stimulating him too much.  The oxygen burns through your blood sugar quickly and speeds up the metabolism.  When the brain is not functioning properly, this is a distressing sight.  Josh obviously does not have control of his emotions.   I am drained.... 

Earlier in the day he had physical therapy with Jon and they stood him up on the standing board for several minutes.  He did well, they tell me.  He was then put into some kind of wheelchair with his body secured so he wouldn't hurt himself and fall.   They tell me he was making everyone laugh as he was like a "speed demon" on wheels, going all over the facility from room to room checking everything out.   Nurse Reggie tells me that Jon was on the floor laughing.  Josh's legs are strong.  He just needs to get his coordination back.  We're working on it! 

Later on Josh was watching the fishing channel on television in the family room of the facility with Janet, the head nurse.  Some guy had a huge fish on the line and was pulling like crazy to haul the fish into the boat.  Josh was screaming for the guy to sit down!  He's so funny.

When I left the facility last night, Josh was WIDE AWAKE.  I told him I had to get some sleep, he started making crazy Donald Duck noises....     I should go to San Diego Brain Injury Foundation support workshops to brainstorm with other caregivers on their experiences.  They are having a workshop on caregiver burnout (that's me) on Saturday, but I can't go because I need to get the house ready for a pre-prom party.  Natalie is going to the prom tonight and is so excited.  I need to give that girl some serious attention.  All my energy is going to Josh, my high maintenance kid!    

Josh gets up and takes his first steps!!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I arrive at CareMeridian this morning and Josh is working with Tim and Jon, his therapists.  They have a belt around Josh's waist.  They get him standing up with Jon in the front of Josh and Tim in the back.  Josh takes about ten steps!  Everyone is cheering him on!  Josh is grinning from ear to ear.  He wants them to let him go, but they tell him he's not strong enough YET....  Josh was responding beautifully to the therapists' directives and was really listening to them!   

We head downtown with the wheelchair van for an oxygen session and Josh is angry.  I can't understand him, but finally I cover his trach and he yells "The driver should have taken a left hand turn."  He was adamant.  I explain that Mike, the driver, knows where he is going.  Josh calms down eventually.  When we are making a left to go into the facility, I tell Josh that Mike is making a left.  Josh says, "I don't think it's legal."  He's a character.  You never know what he is going to say next.  It's not exactly easy reasoning with Josh at this stage. 

In order to get Josh's trach removed, he has to have a swallow test in the radiology department of a hospital.  They need to xray him as he is swallowing to make sure the liquid goes down the right way.  The therapists think Josh will be ready "soon". 

On Sunday I am meeting Dr. Stenehjem, head of Sharp Rehab Hospital.  He is coming to the facility at 11:00 am to meet Josh and go over his meds.  I finally got a doctor to come to the facility!  That's no easy task! 

Josh is getting angry!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Josh was in a good mood when I arrived at CareMeridian this morning, but that soon changed.  My girlfriend, Lizzy, came to the facility and Josh was joking with us about his shoes.  Lizzy tells him she likes his shoes.  Josh laughs..."I have more shoes here than I have at home."  He is acting appropriately and charming. 

Lizzy and I go to lunch.  When I return, Josh is angry.  He tells me to "Get out.  Just get out of here!"  He was really shouting.  The nurses came in.  I left the room.  He tells Nurse Reggie "I love my mother a lot...I just don't want her to see me this way..."   He tells her "I want to run.  I want to get out of here..." I disappeared for a while.

When I came back, Josh had settled down.  Natalie arrived.  We talked about what happened that early morning in Tucson.  Josh is asking "where was I?"  I tell him he was at his buddy Mike's house.  He looks really worried and upset.  Again, I reassure him that everything will be okay and that he is getting better everyday.  I tell him he is getting great care and will soon be able to take care of himself and do everything he did before.  I tell him he just has to work with the therapists.  He says "ok".   He then tells me "We have to go back to Tucson to finish school."  I tell him he had to take a break from school because of what happened. Josh is upset...  He is shaking his head saying, "I don't know." 

 Josh's mind is ahead of his body and he is frustrated. 

Later that day,  two of his college friends came to visit and he was acting appropriately.  He was intently staring at Jade, a beautiful girl,  talking exclusively with her.  He asked her if she had gone to the mall yet.  He made everyone laugh.  He told Jade and Mitch he was getting oxygen treatments downtown.

I am still waiting to hear from the doctor of the facility.  I want the trach out.  Josh said he wanted some water.  He said the trach was bothering him.  The nurses say this is all a great sign and he's on his way.  I am frustrated with waiting.  It bothers me that the trach would be in there longer than necessary since you constantly have to moisturize the throat with mist.  Josh is pulling at everything.  We constantly have to tell him to be patient...that this is a temporary thing.

We'll see what today brings.  Oh by the way, Josh unbuckled the seat belt to the wheelchair so his hand coordination is coming back.  The nurses are watching him closely so he does not injure himself.  Josh wants OUT!!!    

 

Josh is getting emotional...

Tuesday,  June 5, 2007       I arrive at CareMeridian and the two therapists, Tim, his occupational guy and Jon, his physical guy, are both working on Josh as he sits in his wheelchair.  He is absolutely exhausted, his eyes rolling in his head.  He was up from 12 midnight to 5 am, talking about this and that.  He was overstimulated from all his visitors the day before. 

Overstimulation is counterproductive, they tell me.  Josh was too tired to participate in active physical therapy so they were working on his muscle tone, his neck, moving it from left to right and up and down.   They were also working on his left hand in particular.  They said this was the prime time to work on his muscle tone since he was too tired to resist them.  Jon said he was planning on getting Josh up on his feet and walking a bit, but Josh was too tired from being up all night. 

We put on his trach cap and Josh immediately tells me he wants to go to the racetrack.  He's so funny.  He was also talking about his Dad, Jerry Mendell...  Memories are filling his head and he is telling us about this and that....

We went downtown for an oxygen treatment and on the way back, tears started streaming down Josh's face.  He is realizing what's happening and the emotions are coming through.  I told him then about the drug overdose and that Kyle had called 911 when they found him.  He was sad and overwhelmed.   I told him not to worry about anything and that he was on the mend, getting better every day. 

He then fell into a deep sleep...   we'll see what tomorrow brings.  I have a call into the doctor. I want the trach out as I know Josh can swallow and can control his secretions.... 

Josh can read!!!!

Josh had a roomful of visitors today, about ten of his buddies from college.  He knows everyone!  He greets them as they walk in, "Hi Guys".   The guys start talking about the Chargers and the Padres and Josh is contributing to the conversation. He is mentioning players by name.   He then says "No negative comments or pity."  Josh is reading the sign that Natalie made and put on his door!  He can read!!!  Then he stared at one of the books and says "The Oxygen Revolution".  He is reading the title.  Then he mumbled something about going downtown for oxygen treatments!   

The guys were talking about Torrey Pines and playing football and Josh was mentioning the names of the coaches, Coach Burke, Coach Ashby.  He knows his football number was 55.  He is remembering things from the past!!  The guys were talking about the Del Mar Fair and Josh's first job.  I asked Josh if he wanted to work and he says, "Yeah, I'll work."  I said where and he said, "The Farms" referring to the country club where he caddied last summer.  He says "I'll walk the Farms" which is what caddies do!  Then he mentioned Lomas Santa Fe Country Club and getting kicked off the course with a bunch of guys for being too rowdy.   All his buddies were cracking up.

I told him Paris Hilton was in jail and Josh couldn't believe it!  "Really?" he says in a high pitched voice. 

He told the guys, "My mother still loves me."  "She has warm hands."   

When they were getting ready to leave, Josh says, "Don't go.  Edens (one of his best buddies), chill for a while." 

From 3 p.m. to 9:45 p.m. Josh sat in his wheelchair and talked to his buddies.  He was wound up.  Sometimes he would be frustrated and stuttering, but we understood him alot of the time.  He got off on a tangent about the student union and the frat house.  He mentioned something about wanting to graduate and changing his career.  He said English was one of his favorite subjects. 

I asked Josh if he wanted Lauren to come visit him and he said, "yes, yes, yes, yes."  with a big grin on his face.  All the guys laughed. 

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

 

 

 

Josh is talking up a storm and watching ESPN.

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007    I arrive at the facility.  Josh is watching ESPN in his wheelchair.  He looks up and greets me "Hi Mom".  He continues to watch television.  He gets mad when you change the channel.  He's watching a women's college softball championship. He's talking about their "pitching".   

He's talking up a storm today.  He is aware now of the feeding tube in his stomach and his trach. He's been pulling at them which the nurses say is common.   He tells me, "I have something in my throat."  We tell him it's a trach and that it is temporary, that the doctor will be taking it out soon, but we have to do some swallow tests.  He says "ok".   

Josh gets antsy.  I ask him what he wants.  He tells me, "I want to be on top of the world".  I say, "Really, Josh?"  He says "No, it's too high up there."  He starts talking about Bobby this, and Bobby that.  We can't understand him.  I show him a picture of Bobby and Lora and he identifies both of them.  I tell them they want to come and visit him.  He says "good". 

When you hold the camera to take a picture, Josh smiles for the camera.  He knows what's up. 

I tell him, "Josh, I love you, you're my favorite son."  He says, "You're my favorite, Mom."  He asks me what I said, I tell him, he then says "no, before that."  I couldn't even remember what I told him before that so I said "I don't know what I said before that."  He says "I want to get up and get out of here."  We tell him, his legs are still too weak, but he's getting stronger everyday.  He says, "OK."

We'll see what tomorrow brings.  Josh is smiling alot and throws kisses to all the nurses.  The old Josh is starting to come through! 

 

 

Josh is improving !

Saturday, June 2, 2007, was a great day for Josh.  He looks great!  His posturing has improved a great deal.  His arms and hands now have more mobility and he is starting to reach out.  He can almost give you a high five with the right hand.   We're working on the left side.

Josh knows us.  He spent most of the day in his wheelchair and can now adjust his position himself.  He crosses his legs sometimes, right over left or left over right.  He is talking more and is studying his surroundings.