"Girls become lovers that turn into Beasts!"

A few weeks ago while having breakfast the radio was on and John Mayer's tune "Daughters" was playing. Josh and I were singing along with the tune and I sang "Girls become lovers that turn into ____, looking to Josh to fill in the blank and he blurts out "Beasts". It was hysterical. Josh said, "That's what happens, Mom, they turn into beasts!" He's so funny... Josh may have lost his mind, but he hasn't lost his sense of humor. He makes me laugh a lot!


While driving one day, Josh was annoying me with all his persistent and constant questioning about this and that. He looks at me and says, "How old am I?" I said, "Josh, you know how old you are...why do you ask questions that you know the answers to?", and Josh says, "I am insecure." He's so cute... I said, "Are you confused because of the brain injury or insecure?" He says, "I guess I am confused...."

Josh started swimming lessons at Noonan's Family Swim School in Del Mar. Just as Josh had to learn to walk all over again, he has to learn to swim. It took a while to find someone that was willing to take Josh on. It's not easy to find a swim instructor who works individually with someone like Josh unless, of course, you pay through the nose for private therapy and then it's in a hospital-like setting. Josh's instructor, Tim, is from NYC and is very cool. He's smart, animated and fun. The water is warm which helps and Josh is a willing participant. Both Josh and Natalie completed the Junior Lifeguard Program when they were little and were good swimmers. I think it's crucial that everyone know how to swim... Hopefully, Josh will be boogie boarding by the summer.

Josh is also doing FeldenKrais Yoga !

Here's Joshy and his instructor doing FeldenKrais yoga which I learned about after reading, "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. I may have mentioned this book before. It's a brain scientist's personal journey to recovery after suffering from a massive stroke. She made a total and complete recovery which took her 8 years. She mentioned that this type of yoga helped her physically heal. Josh used to have private lessons at the house, but now he goes to classes every Monday night at the Encinitas Recreation Center. Don takes him and it's great for Josh to get out and interact with a group.

As for me, I have had a setback with a lateral meniscal tear to the right knee which totally and completely has thrown me for a loop... It hurts and has thrown off my body...my right lower back hurts and I am irritable from the pain. It doesn't help to have tons of stairs all over the place. It particularly hurts when I go down stairs as that movement of bending the knee as you descend stairs pulls at the meniscus. OUCH!!! I am hopping all over the place. I am trying to heal without surgery, but may have to take the plunge if things don't work out. I have had an MRI and two opinions so far... I had a cortisone shot which made me nauseous for two days... yuck! I miss tennis and feel like I am 3000 pounds...not too bueno. I don't do well with ice packs, rest and immobilization...

I just flicked on the tv and saw Dr. Amen on KPBS ranting and raving about being positive in life. He just said something like, "Notice what you love about your life...don't focus about what you hate about your life... this will interfere with creativity, learning and being positive, happy and hopeful..." Easier said than done, huh?

I went to Las Vegas last weekend to hang out with Chicago cousins,Cathy and Zach, at the Palazzo! Zach wanted to check out the hotel and hospitality management program at the university there. We had fun losing money! Carrie made arrangements for us to be in this killer, luxury suite, with three bathrooms and flatscreen tvs all over the place. When you took a shower, you didn't even have to move, you got blasted from every angle with water... very cool. Thanks, Carrie! With minimum bets of $15 and $25 at the tables, you could go broke very fast... We did manage to have one nice dinner at Carnevino...

Cathy and Zach with Humpdy Dumpty somewhere at the Palazzo.

That's it for now! Oh yeah, Natalie.... she is doing great, thank heavens! I'll be going to Boulder to visit in a few weekends! I am trying to keep the sanity with my little trips here and there. It rejuvenates me to get away! When I return from my excursions, I can deal better with Josh.

I want to say thanks to the people who are reading my blog, especially to those who are dealing with loved ones who have brain injuries and for those of you who are dealing with your own brain injuries. It is so difficult and we truly need to support one another in every way we can. For those who read my blog that live in my neck of the woods, (Del Mar and surrounding communities), please email me at paulamendell@gmail.com if you want to get together for coffee to exchange ideas and inspire one another.

We survived the holidays.

Christmas 2008

Well, it's been more than three months since I have updated Josh's blog. I have to get used to this new format since AOL closed their journal service. This blog is presented by Google. All you have to do is open a Google email account and you're good to go.

The holidays have come and gone, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years... We survived and actually had some fun! Natalie was home from college for nearly a month and the house was full of kids coming and going. Natalie is truly the organizer. She brings people together and it is a wonderful gift. Natalie and Josh's pre-injury girlfriend, Brittany, arranged a get together at the house for Josh's 22nd birthday. Natalie made a few phone calls and voila...lots of Josh's college buddies came over and hung out. It was fun for Josh. They brought him a Charger hat and slippers and lots of lottery tickets. He was delighted. They hung out for a bit and played xbox downstairs. I left them alone.

Brittany was home for the holidays and she came to visit Josh several times. She handled things very well and Josh was genuinely happy to see her. He oftens asks me, "Mom, am I still going out with Brittany?" He's trying to sort things out. They haven't been together in several years, but when she heard of Josh's accident, she immediately was in touch wtih Natalie and followed his progress. Josh was shy and cute in front of her and Brittany said, "Wow, Josh is shy now. He's sweet."

Joshy and Brittany, December 2008

The post-injury Josh is sweet and lovable, very different from before.

Natalie and I went to NYC from the 17th of December to the 21st. We had an incredibly fun time, shopping, going to restaurants and shows and of course going to Rockefeller Center to see the infamous xmas tree with all its glitter and glamour. The city was decorated to the nines in spite of the economy. The department stores were all gorgeously adorned and the sales were incredible, 75% off with scanners all over the stores. Natalie and I had to buy another suitcase for all our purchases. We saw Liza Minnelli at the Palace. They serve wine in tipee cups so you don't spill the stuff all over the place. You're allowed to bring the wine to your seat. So I sipped wine and watched Liza sing and dance. She got a standing ovation. The girl can sing like there is no tomorrow, a real entertainer. We saw In the Heights which won a tony award for best musical last year. We both loved it.

These long weekend excursions are good for me because when I return I am refreshed and ready to handle Josh and his craziness. On the flight to NYC I hit the jackpot. I sat next to a neuropsychologist. He was wildly typing on his laptop and glanced over at me and said something about "reports". I asked him what type of work he did and he said he was a neuropsychologist. He was working on IEP's. We talked about Josh and his injury. We talked about hyperbaric oxygen therapy and various medications. He asked me specifically what Josh's symptoms were and I told him about the maddening perseveration and how he asks me over and over again the same questions, "When am I going back to college?"... "Where's Dad?" He said Josh was experiencing anxiety and said for this type of anoxic injury that Josh should be on twice or three times the dose of Lexapro. He said all antidepressants regenerate brain cells. When I got home from NYC, I googled this guy, checked out his credentials, then called Josh's rehab doctor, Dr. S. Dr. S. increased Josh's dosage to 20 mgs. of Lexapro and guess what? Josh is calmer and more focused. He still asks the questions, but less frequently. I also notice small, subtle changes in him. For example, he'll say, "I really miss Dad" or "I wish Dad were here." This is better than "Where's Dad?" Sometimes before he goes to bed, he'll say, "I miss Dad and Armen. I miss Mary, too." I think Josh's mind is flooded with memories of them and he's still sorting things out. He knows they are gone, but thinks about them all the time. One time after having a cranial sacral massage, Josh just sobbed for about one minute and said, "I really miss Dad..." I thought this was a breakthrough... who knows?

Josh stayed up until 1:30 a.m. after the inauguration. He said "Good" when he saw Bush get on the plane to head to Texas. He thinks Obama is "cool". I asked Josh who the vice president was and he said "John McCain"... Josh definitely makes you laugh. Josh was petting Ruffy on the couch as he was watching the events of the inauguration. He says, "Is Ruffy a negro?" -- crazy Josh. When practicing his speech, his tutor gets a hand mirror and asks Josh, "What do you think this mirror is for?" and Josh says, "To admire myself." "No," Mike says, it's to watch your lips when you talk so you'll learn to open your mouth and enunciate clearly." Josh just laughs. He says to Mike, "Is that your car?" Mike says, "yeah." Josh says, "It's okay for a girl." Then he laughs.

Josh is happy and much sweeter, especially to me. He'll say, "Mom, I love you so much. Thanks for everything." Suddenly, Josh thinks I hung the moon. The other day I took Josh to work with me. He hung out with the guys at Reliable while I went to see my psychologist, Dr. B. When I returned to work and opened the front door, Josh was so happy to see me, he came up to me and hugged me, just like a child again. It's definitely different...

Josh is having HBOT again. We really see a change in Josh after the treatments. He read a book for about 15 minutes after having the treatment. He then went downstairs, turned the television on and was watching the news. This was a first. It's not just flipping on the tv. He had to shut off the xbox, go into the input menu and change from one screen to another. Later that evening, he was watching a movie in his room. He's doing more than just playing xbox. Josh also remembered that he went to HBOT the next morning! This is particularly huge! Remembering what you did the next day is pretty amazing since most of the time Josh's working memory is about 20-25 minutes long. It's weird how he'll remember certain things and not others. Why would he remember going to HBOT but not remember going to an entire Charger game which is so much longer and exciting? Who knows?

Josh knows that Natalie is going to college at Boulder and will always say, "Why aren't I in college?" I'll say, "You know why," and Josh will say "Because of the brain injury?" Josh always asks questions he knows the answers to. Sometimes he'll just look at Zack or Mike Jones and say, "What's your name?" He sees these guys every day. They'll say, "Oh come on, Josh." Then, he'll say, "Mike" or "Zack".

I am working on getting Josh into a swimming program. When he was a kid, he completed the junior lifeguard program and received his certificate. He used to love to boggie board. I play golf with a gal whose son owns the Noonan Family Swim School in Del Mar...so I am working on getting a male instructor for Josh. We need to get that kid in the water again. Josh hasn't been in the water since the injury. He needs to get his fluidity back and swimming would be great therapy.

Josh is taking a class in FeldenKrais yoga which is designed to increase your range of motion. Josh is such a team player. Don takes him to the class on Monday nights. Josh never says, "I don't want to go." He's a sport. Don's been working out with Josh practically every night. Josh is pretty fit. He comes home from the gym soaked. Josh is continuing with his Cognition Ignition program which is helping him cognitively. He's also tutored every day from 3:30 to 5:30. I couldn't ask for a better tutor than Mike Jones. He works with Josh on all kinds of programs including the interative metronome program which helps Josh with his speech and coordination. You set the metronome to a certain speed and as it ticks away, you recite various exercises to the beat. It's all about speech and coordination.

That's it for now, folks! Thanks for listening and Happy New Year!!! xo

Josh has a new blog...

I just wanted to inform everyone that Josh has a new blog since AOL journals is closing on October 31, 2008. I hope I successfully transferred the contents of Josh's old blog into the new one. I will be updating the blog soon... I need to gather my thoughts and write something meaningful and informative...

Josh has a new team of educators and is improving...

Natalie turned 18 on July 22, 2008.  We had a party at Rock Bottom with lots of her friends. 

Natalie's graduation from Canyon Crest Academy, June 12, 2008

 

  US Open cake from Four Seasons Aviara. 

  Picture of Josh and me taken on August 2, 2008, by Vin.  Please excuse the shirt...Josh's ex-girlfriend, Brittany, bought it for him a few years ago.  He insisted on wearing it to HBOT.  He's still happy and smiling away...

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It's been a little over two months since I have updated the blog.  Since then, I have been to South Beach Miami for a bachelorette party and to Boulder for Natalie's orientation at University of Colorado.  Natalie has signed up for all her classes, is in the leadership program and will start college on August 25.  We fly there on the 21st to get all moved in....

Oh yeah....this blog is about Josh!  Well, let's see...I guess he's coming along.  It's hard to measure his progress since I see him everyday... Josh's memory is getting better.  He remembers that Mike, Angie and Tyler were here for Natalie's graduation !  That is big.  It seems that his memory for big events is fairly decent at times, but the small stuff like what he had for breakfast and what he did the day before is spotty...  Dr. B explained that this is how the memory comes back, first the big stuff, then the small stuff... 

Josh continues to perseverate about Jerry and college and now my mother.... Josh will call me at work in the middle of the afternoon and ask, "Where's your mother?"  very strange... and totally annoying...  He is also into this thing where he asks, "Who died first Grandma or Dad.... what about Armen???  did he go to heaven or hell???  (then he just laughs like there is no tomorrow..crazy Joshy.)  what about Hector???  is he still alive???"   Every night Josh will look at family pictures and ask where they all are...   The other night Josh asked about Myron!  He said, "Mom, is Myron still around?"  The other day Josh was reading Uncle Charlie's obituary and started on him... "Where is he?"  Dr. B thinks that Josh is literally asking where they are.  If we are in the car and I remind Josh to put hisseatbelt on, he'll say, "I am not putting it on...I want to be with Dad.."   Then he just laughs....   The other day Josh was yelling at Vin and I said, "Josh, why are you screaming?"  Josh says, "Because Vin didn't know Jerry."  Then he'll laugh.  He asks everyone "Did you know my Dad?"  This is that lack of executive function thing where he just blurts out stupid stuff or laughs inappropriately if he sees someone fall.   If I bring Josh to Reliable Pipe, he'll walk up to the customers and say "What's your name?"   He constantly looks at Mike Nunez and asks him, "Where's Hector? Is he with my Dad?"  

Josh does well when he is engaged in some kind of activity and has an amazing concentration level considering what happened to him.  Four days a week he has four hours of one on one therapy, two in the morning at Encinitas Learning Center in his advanced neuroplasticity program and then two hours in the afternoon with his tutor.  He can do algebra and complex averages...  He is doing very well and Mike Jones is quite pleased with his progress and loves working with Josh.  Yesterday Mike called me at work after their tutoring session and told me that Josh remembered his middle name which Mike told him last month....the memory thing is quite bizarre and spotty...some things he stores away and remembers and other things he immediately forgets...  When Josh is perseverating about Jerry or college, he won't remember anything you tell him or anything that is happening around him...  He is in the "crazy Josh world" trying to sort things out...  It is like a broken record that is stuck in the groove... the therapists say to touch him to ground him to reality...  IT IS MADDENING AND DIFFICULT!!

The "When am I going back to college?" thing is continuing.  Josh constantly asks me this and when he does I no longer say "soon".  Dr. B says you must tell him that he'll go back when his brain heals, that he needs to work hard atall his therapies so his memory and reasoning ability will come back.  I have something written out which explains that he suffered from a near death brain injury which caused cell death in his brain when he had no oxygen...  Josh understands sometimes.  If you tell him that he'll go back to college "if your brain heals", he has a fit.  He'll scream, "What do you mean IF????" 

I decided that I wanted happy, motivated professionals around Josh so I got rid of Nino, his driver, and put an ad in Craig's list for an educator to drive Josh to Encinitas Learning Center and to work with the therapists there to understand what is happening and reinforce those exercises at home.  The ad stated that the educator must play xbox, pool, cards, ping pong and golf, and most importantly have a sense of humor.  I want fun people around Josh, not boring caregivers that don't give a shit.  I also stated in the ad that a telephone interview was required and gave my cell phone number.  I probably received 50 calls from retired and laid off teachers.  I hired two young guys, Zach and Zodi.  Zach has a degree in special education and is a substitute teacher.  He has a great personality, is fun, full of great ideas and is very enthusiastic.  He is also darling, 6 foot, blonde and blue and married to a gal who works in the pharmaceutical industry.  Zodi has a teaching degree from San Diego State in kinesthesiology.  He is fun, animated, extremely polite and humble!  I got so many qualified people that my head was spinning.  I decided to break up the week, three days for Zach and two days for Zodi.  So far, so good.  Before I was not ready to interview people and tell them exactly what I wanted.  I was too emotional so I just called agencies and said, "Send me people."  I think Josh will make better progress with fun people around him.  If they get burnt out, I'll hire other fun people. 

Josh's latest thing is watching movies.  He loves to laugh.  He'll focus on an entire movie.  If I walk in the room, he'll get distracted and start with the crazy questions.  A few days ago, Josh walked in my bedroom around 6:30 a.m. with the Cheech and Chong DVD.  He'll get up really early and read all his notes on the kitchen table.  I'll hear him mulling around in the kitchen.

I have more to tell, but it's 20 minutes until 11 andI have a golf date at 11:30 and haven't showered yet...so I'll finish up when I get back and attach some photos of Natalie's bday and graduation....  I am dating now and having fun!!  Stay tuned.....

xoxoxo   

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Josh is still going to HBOT but only once a week and at a deeper depth, 2.0 atmospheres.  He loves it!  As he becomes more and more cognitive, I think we will go deeper.  It helps with stiffness.  Josh has blisters on his hands from gripping the golf club so tightly.  He needs to loosen up.    We're laying off of golf for a while and doing frisbee golf which is great exercise. 

 

 

 

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The experts are telling me that Josh is making slow, steady progress...

Well, it's been almost two months since I have updated the blog.  Josh is continuing with his therapies.  He has a busy schedule.  Everyday he attends the Encinitas Learning Center from 9:30 to 11:30.  He is continuing with the Fast Forword neuroplasticity computer-based program.  The program is designed to develop the following skills:  advanced listening accuracy; auditory sequencing which is the ability to recognize and remember the order in which a series of sounds is presented, something which is critical for mapping sound sequences when spelling;  word analysis which is the ability to recognize words, identify multi-syllabic words and recognize the relationship between letters and sounds and understand letter patterns;  sustained attention which is the ability to remain focused on a given task while ignoring distractions and refraining from impulsive behavior;  phonological memory; listening comprehension; following directions; English language conventions which is understanding the elements of the English language, including proper word order, syntax, vocabulary, prefixes and suffixes, plurals and subject-verb agreement; and vocabulary.   Basically, it's all about memory, attention, processing and sequencing. 

It's pretty amazing that Josh is doing so well in this program and has been promoted to the Fast ForWord Literacy Advanced program.  What's rather mind-boggling is that Josh can do all this literacy stuff and even have a discussion with you about the presidential campaign, but continues with the haunting, crazy questions about his Dad and college.  The perseveration continues and it's totally exhausting and awful to deal with.  "Where's Dad?"  "When did he die?"  "How old was I when he died?"  "How old was Natalie?" ......   Then every once in a while Josh will say, "I really hate the way Dad died," which I suppose shows that he understands that he's dead.  Every once in a while Josh will say, "I really miss Dad."  This is good, I think, but then he goes back to the same craziness with the "Where's Dad?" thing....   He also asks about Grandma.  He'll look at her picture and say, "Where is she?"  It's nuts.

Josh also continues with the "When am I going back to college?" thing in his crazy, slurred speech.  The shrink says that what this really means is "When am I getting my life back?"  This makes sense to me.  The problem with Josh is that he has anosagnosia.  Doesn't that sound like some awful disease????   It is a term used to describe a lack of awareness about a physical or mental impairment caused by brain damage.  People with anosagnosia are incapable of understanding that they have an impairment.  A classic example of someone with anosagnosia was the Unibomber.  He thought he was normal and refused to allow his attorney to raise the insanity defense.  How crazy is that.  The guy filled notebooks with pages and pages of numerical codes which he devised himself.   When the FBI and the CIA raided his apartment, they found the key to all these crazy, number sequences.....

The good news is my shrink thinks Josh will get past this anosagnosia stage and realize that he does, in fact, have some serious brain damage.  Then Josh will become frustrated and most likely depressed.  The other day Josh mentioned that he felt very frustrated.  I was really glad when he said that.  Every once in a blue moon Josh will have a moment of clarity, but it seems that it is short lived. 

I found a wonderful clinical psychologist who specializes in brain injuries.  She has a wealth of knowledge and I can "pick her brain" and ask her all kinds of questions about anoxic injuries.  The other day when I was in her office, she pointed to a lovely painting on the wall and said one of her clients who had a similar injury as Josh's, did the painting.  She tells me that Josh will make lots of progress even after two years.  This makes me feel hopeful.  Dr. B (that's what we'll call her) also recommended that I take antidepressants since I am feeling so overwhelmed lately.  I am going the natural route and am taking SamE which you can buy in the grocery store.  It stands for S-adenosylmethionine and is derivative of the amino acid methionine which the body naturally produces.  I like it.  I feel better.  It's the rage in Europe.  Americans reach for Prozac while the Europeans reach for the SamE.  SamE is beneficial for disorders of the joints and connective tissue.  It also promotes the health of the liver and may lower homocysteine levels.  This is good since I have been drinking lots of wine lately...yum.

I was feeling lousy so I went to the doctor.  My doctor is moving to Arizona so I saw this new guy who happened to be absolutely gorgeous which was very distracting.  My back was killing me and I, of course, thought I was dying of lung cancer.  I had convinced myself that something was dreadfully wrong at the base of both of my lungs.  As it turned out, I was having back spasms and my lungs were fine...  This guy did a bunch of blood work and everything checked out.  So, I guess that red wine is definitely helping...  This doctor gave me his cell phone number and told me I could call him any time of day.  I thought that was rather odd.  Have you ever had a doctor give you his cell number????   I just said, "Oh, thank you so much, Doctor.  That is so kind of you."  Maybe I should give him a buzz at 3 a.m. and tell him my back is spasming and I need a back rub!!  

Natalie and I had an amazing time in Maui.  Wailea is gorgeous and the ocean was like whale soup.  The whales were jumping up and out of the water continuously.  It was beautiful and quite entertaining!  We did not want to come home!  The Grand Wailea is an amazing resort !  We went ten minutes south of the resort and saw Big Beach which is undeveloped and stunning!  There were ten people on the beach.... I dragged Natalie out of bed to go there and she was happy I did!

Natalie and I went to Boulder for a long weekend and that's Natalie's college pick - the University of Colorado at Boulder.  It's lovely. 

 

The campus is beautiful!  It has an East Coast feel but is only two hours away!  You fly into Denver and drive 1/2 an hour to the college. 

The shopping at Boulder was wonderful!  Here we are in a gourmet olive oil boutique with all kinds of goodies on the shelves. 

I hope Natalie will be happy there!  I'll miss her ! 

Natalie and her girlfriends recently went to the senior prom.  They are all gorgeous!  Doesn't Josh look great??  He's getting better! 

I forgot to mention that Josh got fitted for a hearing aid and it's helping.  His tutors and therapists say he is doing much better with it.  We'll wait a while and eventually do the left ear as well.  We wanted to do the right ear since his hearing is more damaged on that side.  Hopefully Josh's speech will improve.  Dr. S. says he'll speak more clearly over time since he will be hearing better.  We'll see...

I am excited that Mike, Angie and Tyler are coming out for the US Open.  We'll wine and dine and have some laughs!   Angie needs some R&R after all she has been through.  It's over now!!!  What an ordeal !  Thanks, everyone for reading Josh's blog! 

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Natalie and I are leaving for Maui!!

If all goes smoothly and everyone shows up to get Josh covered, Natalie and I are off to the Grand Wailea in Maui on the 5th of April!!  We cannot wait.  I so desperately need this!  I have hit the wall and if I don't get out of Dodge soon, I'll end up in the big house for sure!!  Then, there will be no Josh and no one to care for Natalie and the dogs....among other things...   I guess I am sick of rowing the boat, just plain ole exhausted mentally and physically.... 

Have I told you guys about Vin, Josh's newest caregiver?  He is a wonderful young man who just graduated from college in the Phillipines and is studying to be an ICU nurse.  He is humble, patient and very efficient!  He  stays with us from Thursday to Monday.  Vin is 22, speaks perfect English and plays Xbox, Monopoly, Chess, scrabble and pool with Josh.  It's wonderful!  When Vin is around, Josh doesn't call me 20 times a day and ask me in the haunting, crazy voice...  "When am I going back to college, Mom?"  Only drawback is Vin does not drive yet.  So...I am still running Josh around to his appointments. 

Josh has started up again with the hyperbaric oxygen therapy and has also started a new program called FastForward which is a neuroplasticity computer based program which is designed to remap the brain, open up new passage ways, help with memory, speech and yes, REASONING!!!  Wouldn't that be nice?  To be able to reason with Josh would be amazing.  Josh continues to have moments of clarity, but most of the time he is still into the "Where's Dad?" thing and the "When am I going back to college?" thing....  very frustrating.  Josh continues to do well with others.  He does not act as nuts with his caregivers as he does with me.  The mothers are always the whipping posts.  Lucky us!  PARENT ABUSE. 

My brother, Mike and I had a telephone conference with Dr. David Perlmutter, the neurologist out of Naples, Florida, that wrote the Better Brain Book and Brain Recovery.  We had a three way conference call and Dr. Perlmutter actually gave me somewhat of a road map to go by.  He said Josh needs another 50 to 75 hyperbaric oxygen treatments, that he needs to take 1250 mgs of DHA, a fish oil which will turn on the seratonin in the brain.  He also gave me a laundry list of other vitamins and minerals which Josh needs to take, like vitamin D, NAC and resveratrol, to name a few.  Dr. Perlmutter did not hesitate to tell us what we needed to do for Josh.  I liked that.  He had Josh's medical records and the original MRI which was taken immediately after the accident.  He said that Josh's hippocampus (the part of the brain which has to do with memory) can regenerate itself over time.  That was nice to hear...  

We'll see what happens over time...  In the interim, things suck.  Josh's progrress is extraordinarily slow.  I do see some small improvements with memory.  He is learning to know the names of new people.  For example, he knows all the guys at HBOT, like Bob Sands, Ivan, Ben and Saul.  He knows Bob is from Australia.  He enjoys going there and has watched Oceans 13 the past ten sessions. I tell him, "Josh, you saw that movie yesterday," and Josh says, "No, I didn't, Mom."  It's like the movie Fifty First Dates with Drew Barrymore....  

I'll finish updating this blog when I get back.  I have to pick Josh up from the Encinitas Learning Center. 

 

Joshy, Colin and wild dogs, Ruffy and Daisy.  This photo was taken when Colin came to visit Josh before his trip to Japan.  Colin, hope all is going well in Japan and that you are having the time of your life....you lucky kid!

Zach came to visit Josh during Spring Break.  Open your eyes, Josh!

Here's Natalie, Olivia and Lauren, all dolled up for the National Charity League senior presentation ceremony held at the Four Seasons.

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"When will Josh Mendell go back to college?"

Apparently, this is the million dollar question...  Josh continues to perseverate about this and now is doing internet searches trying to find the answer...  It is crazy!  He will type this question in the Google search box or the AOL search box.  The August 28, 2006, article in the Wildcat Newspaper shows up with the picture of the "pre-business sophomore Josh Mendell" decked out in a suit giving the rushees the grand tour of the frat...  Also, the blog shows up... "Chris and Bruce visit from Chicago.  Josh's college buddies visit..."  I have to watch what I write in this blog because it's showing up in web searches...  Isn't that wild??? 

The other day I walked into the computer room and Josh asks me, "Am I 22?"  I said "No, why do you think you're 22?"  Then he shows me some article talking about a Joshua Mendel (with one L), age 22, who had brutally murdered two college girls...  I said, "Oh yeah, Josh, that's you and you're a murderer..."  He cracks up.  Josh definitely gets a lot of things, but he doesn't "get" what happened to him.  I am constantly trying to reason with him and explain the reason he is not in college.  "You had a very serious brain injury, Josh, and you nearly died!!  Drugs and alcohol were the cause.  You were in a coma for two months, in the hospital for five months...etc. etc. etc...."  He'll say, "Oh wow."  Sometimes he'll laugh and say "cool".  Oh yeah, it's really cool... I have laminated descriptions of the accident all over the place and Josh will read them over and over, but he still thinks he's fine.  Every once in a while he'll have what I call a moment of clarity and seem to understand things, but then it goes out the window and he's all crazy again....  For example, the other day I said, "Josh, in order to return to college, you need to F O C U S on something for a long time.  You need to read books and take tests and remember things...  Do you think you can do that?"  Josh says, "Oh yeah, easy.  I can do that easily..."  I said, then go in your room and get one of your books and let's see if you can read it.  He goes to his room and picks out a book on baseball trivia and read it for about 5 seconds.  Then he asks me, "Mom, when am I going back to college?"

Josh also constantly googles "Jerry Mendell".  Sometimes he'll type in the search box, "When did Jerry Medell die?"  or "How did Jerry Mendell die?"  All these articles show up on bereavement or some other Jerry Mendell.  All of this, of course, just confuses Josh who is already totally and completely confused!!  Now when he types in the search box "How did Jerry Mendell die?", this blog entry will show up....      

I took Josh to the newly renovated Balboa Theater in San Diego to see a Bellydance Extravaganza.  We went with my girlfriend, Devora.  I figured this will be entertaining, which it was, and Josh will enjoy the show.  He drove me absolutely nuts the entire show constantly asking every few seconds, "When do I go back to college, Mom...."   I almost lost it a few times and was ready to pull an Auntie Rosie and pinch him really hard under the armpit...       Before the show, we went into Starbucks and were sitting down having a muffin and coffee, when some kid comes up to Josh, taps him on the shoulder and hands him a small cardboard box about 2"x4" and runs out the door.   I immediately grabbed it out of Josh's hand and placed it on another table.  I said, "Josh, don't touch that...we don't know what it is..."  Josh had a meltdown!!  He started screaming, "Give me that f---ing box."  Needless to say, everyone in the place turned and stared at us.  I was trying to reason with Josh.  I then asked the guy sitting next to us who was doing very complicated mathmatical calculations on his computer, "Do you have any idea what's in this box?"  He says, "Oh, it's nothing, just some kind of promotional toy car."  I held the box out at arm's length just in case there was a bomb in it, and opened it.  It was some stupid yellow ugly beanie hat with the Scion logo on it....   Josh insisted on wearing the stupid hat which I grabbed off his head and stuffed in my purse....  We then went to the theatre and by the time the show was over, I was ready for the loony bin.  We went home and I got the house ready for an Academy Award get together. 

About ten of my girlfriends came over and we drank wine, ate rich cheeses and laughed a lot.  (So much for the China Study, Mike!)  At one point we were all sitting around the kitchen table and Josh asks one of my girlfriends, "Caroline,what's my middle name?"  We just all cracked up.  That was random we thought.  If Josh saw someone he hadn't seen before, he would ask them, "What's your name?"   Every once in while Josh would leave the room, go to the computer room, then come back into the kitchen and say hi to everyone as if it was the first time he was seeing them that evening...  We don't even know who won half the awards.  In fact, I missed the entire year of movies.  The only movie I saw last year was the Bee movie....and that was over my head....

Oh God, Josh is up and is standing over my shoulder as I type this.  I thought I would squeeze in a blog update before he woke up.  No such luck.  Now it's "When am I going back to college?" time...which he just asked me.  I told him to go to the kitchen and get a yogurt out of the frig.  As he's walking to the kitchen I hear, "Mom, where's Dad?"  See what I have to live with every day!!!!!  The questions start as soon as Josh wakes up.  There is no grace period!  

Let's see.  Do I have any good news to report????   Ummmmmmmm.........    Josh is doing very well with his male caregivers and tutor.  On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays, he gets tutored from 4 to 6 in all the basics with Mike. I probably already told you that...  He loves Mike and can focus and concentrate for two straight hours!!!  He shakes his hand when he sees him and when he leaves.  It's cute.  Don continues to come over three or four times a week to hang out and play pool, cards, poker, monopoly, chess, word games and whatever else will stimulate Josh's troubled brain.  Christopher continues to take Josh to the gym twice a week and now we have added Yoga for the physically challenged which is sponsored by Sharp Rehab.  So, we're taking part in their golf, yoga and weight training programs which are all great.    Last night Josh and Christopher went to the first yoga class.  Josh did not perseverate once during the entire 50 minutes which is pretty amazing.... no questions!!!  At the end of the yoga session when everyone was winding down and meditating or whatever they do, Josh says, "What's my name?"  Everyone in the class just cracked up laughing...  I guess Josh was maybe a little too relaxed and forgot his name....  Christopher said he almost fell asleep.  I need to check out that class.  I need it!!!

I think I have come to terms so to speak with Josh's brain injury.  I am doing cardio tennis which is an incredible workout to wind down.  It helps me cope with the madness...  I have a telephonic conference set up for March 18 with Dr. David Perlmutter of Naples, Florida.  Mike turned me on to his Better Brain Book and BrainRecovery.com publications.  (Josh just walked into the room with the million dollar question, "When am I going back to college, Mom?".....)  I think Mike will participate in the phone conference.  Two heads are better than one...  I sent Dr. Perlmutter Josh's medical records including the original MRI of Josh's brain which was done a few days after the injury.   I am looking forward to some great advice and getting Josh as well as he can be....

Colin, Cathy and Zach are coming to visit us.  Have the kids read this blog before they do so they know what they're getting into.....  Thank God for XBOX!! 

I'll keep you posted.  Love to everyone!!  Hope Mike, Angie and Tyler will come out for Natalie's graduation and the US Open.  Go Angie!!  She is amazingly strong!!  Can you believe she is working 6-8 hours a day on top of it all?