Apparently, this is the million dollar question... Josh continues to perseverate about this and now is doing internet searches trying to find the answer... It is crazy! He will type this question in the Google search box or the AOL search box. The August 28, 2006, article in the Wildcat Newspaper shows up with the picture of the "pre-business sophomore Josh Mendell" decked out in a suit giving the rushees the grand tour of the frat... Also, the blog shows up... "Chris and Bruce visit from Chicago. Josh's college buddies visit..." I have to watch what I write in this blog because it's showing up in web searches... Isn't that wild???
The other day I walked into the computer room and Josh asks me, "Am I 22?" I said "No, why do you think you're 22?" Then he shows me some article talking about a Joshua Mendel (with one L), age 22, who had brutally murdered two college girls... I said, "Oh yeah, Josh, that's you and you're a murderer..." He cracks up. Josh definitely gets a lot of things, but he doesn't "get" what happened to him. I am constantly trying to reason with him and explain the reason he is not in college. "You had a very serious brain injury, Josh, and you nearly died!! Drugs and alcohol were the cause. You were in a coma for two months, in the hospital for five months...etc. etc. etc...." He'll say, "Oh wow." Sometimes he'll laugh and say "cool". Oh yeah, it's really cool... I have laminated descriptions of the accident all over the place and Josh will read them over and over, but he still thinks he's fine. Every once in a while he'll have what I call a moment of clarity and seem to understand things, but then it goes out the window and he's all crazy again.... For example, the other day I said, "Josh, in order to return to college, you need to F O C U S on something for a long time. You need to read books and take tests and remember things... Do you think you can do that?" Josh says, "Oh yeah, easy. I can do that easily..." I said, then go in your room and get one of your books and let's see if you can read it. He goes to his room and picks out a book on baseball trivia and read it for about 5 seconds. Then he asks me, "Mom, when am I going back to college?"
Josh also constantly googles "Jerry Mendell". Sometimes he'll type in the search box, "When did Jerry Medell die?" or "How did Jerry Mendell die?" All these articles show up on bereavement or some other Jerry Mendell. All of this, of course, just confuses Josh who is already totally and completely confused!! Now when he types in the search box "How did Jerry Mendell die?", this blog entry will show up....
I took Josh to the newly renovated Balboa Theater in San Diego to see a Bellydance Extravaganza. We went with my girlfriend, Devora. I figured this will be entertaining, which it was, and Josh will enjoy the show. He drove me absolutely nuts the entire show constantly asking every few seconds, "When do I go back to college, Mom...." I almost lost it a few times and was ready to pull an Auntie Rosie and pinch him really hard under the armpit... Before the show, we went into Starbucks and were sitting down having a muffin and coffee, when some kid comes up to Josh, taps him on the shoulder and hands him a small cardboard box about 2"x4" and runs out the door. I immediately grabbed it out of Josh's hand and placed it on another table. I said, "Josh, don't touch that...we don't know what it is..." Josh had a meltdown!! He started screaming, "Give me that f---ing box." Needless to say, everyone in the place turned and stared at us. I was trying to reason with Josh. I then asked the guy sitting next to us who was doing very complicated mathmatical calculations on his computer, "Do you have any idea what's in this box?" He says, "Oh, it's nothing, just some kind of promotional toy car." I held the box out at arm's length just in case there was a bomb in it, and opened it. It was some stupid yellow ugly beanie hat with the Scion logo on it.... Josh insisted on wearing the stupid hat which I grabbed off his head and stuffed in my purse.... We then went to the theatre and by the time the show was over, I was ready for the loony bin. We went home and I got the house ready for an Academy Award get together.
About ten of my girlfriends came over and we drank wine, ate rich cheeses and laughed a lot. (So much for the China Study, Mike!) At one point we were all sitting around the kitchen table and Josh asks one of my girlfriends, "Caroline,what's my middle name?" We just all cracked up. That was random we thought. If Josh saw someone he hadn't seen before, he would ask them, "What's your name?" Every once in while Josh would leave the room, go to the computer room, then come back into the kitchen and say hi to everyone as if it was the first time he was seeing them that evening... We don't even know who won half the awards. In fact, I missed the entire year of movies. The only movie I saw last year was the Bee movie....and that was over my head....
Oh God, Josh is up and is standing over my shoulder as I type this. I thought I would squeeze in a blog update before he woke up. No such luck. Now it's "When am I going back to college?" time...which he just asked me. I told him to go to the kitchen and get a yogurt out of the frig. As he's walking to the kitchen I hear, "Mom, where's Dad?" See what I have to live with every day!!!!! The questions start as soon as Josh wakes up. There is no grace period!
Let's see. Do I have any good news to report???? Ummmmmmmm......... Josh is doing very well with his male caregivers and tutor. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays, he gets tutored from 4 to 6 in all the basics with Mike. I probably already told you that... He loves Mike and can focus and concentrate for two straight hours!!! He shakes his hand when he sees him and when he leaves. It's cute. Don continues to come over three or four times a week to hang out and play pool, cards, poker, monopoly, chess, word games and whatever else will stimulate Josh's troubled brain. Christopher continues to take Josh to the gym twice a week and now we have added Yoga for the physically challenged which is sponsored by Sharp Rehab. So, we're taking part in their golf, yoga and weight training programs which are all great. Last night Josh and Christopher went to the first yoga class. Josh did not perseverate once during the entire 50 minutes which is pretty amazing.... no questions!!! At the end of the yoga session when everyone was winding down and meditating or whatever they do, Josh says, "What's my name?" Everyone in the class just cracked up laughing... I guess Josh was maybe a little too relaxed and forgot his name.... Christopher said he almost fell asleep. I need to check out that class. I need it!!!
I think I have come to terms so to speak with Josh's brain injury. I am doing cardio tennis which is an incredible workout to wind down. It helps me cope with the madness... I have a telephonic conference set up for March 18 with Dr. David Perlmutter of Naples, Florida. Mike turned me on to his Better Brain Book and BrainRecovery.com publications. (Josh just walked into the room with the million dollar question, "When am I going back to college, Mom?".....) I think Mike will participate in the phone conference. Two heads are better than one... I sent Dr. Perlmutter Josh's medical records including the original MRI of Josh's brain which was done a few days after the injury. I am looking forward to some great advice and getting Josh as well as he can be....
Colin, Cathy and Zach are coming to visit us. Have the kids read this blog before they do so they know what they're getting into..... Thank God for XBOX!!
I'll keep you posted. Love to everyone!! Hope Mike, Angie and Tyler will come out for Natalie's graduation and the US Open. Go Angie!! She is amazingly strong!! Can you believe she is working 6-8 hours a day on top of it all?
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