Brain injuries suck !!!! Being a caregiver for a brain-injured loved one is very difficult and emotionally draining !!!

I have not posted on Josh's blog in many months.  Time is a blur when you are a caregiver.  The days all mesh together and it is difficult to think clearly.  It is more difficult to stay upbeat and positive.   It is also very expensive to care for your loved one.  I have literally spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Josh.  His injury happened in March of 2007...  more than 9 years ago.  Holy smokes !!!

I do not leave Josh alone.  When I go out, I have a caregiver for Josh.  It is a safety issue as Josh has no working memory.  He does not know what he does from moment to moment.  He literally lives in the moment.   His memory of an event probably lasts no more than 10 minutes.   He knows what he is doing when he is doing it, but the event (whatever he is doing -- i.e., playing Xbox, watching a movie, being on the computer, etc.) does not gel in his brain due to his injury.  Josh will watch a Padre game on television or go to a Chargers game and literally have no recollection of seeing the game within 15 minutes of it happening.  It is very strange.  It is all due to the anoxic brain injury.  It is very sad and hard to deal with.  

This morning Josh came to my bedroom at 6 a.m. and in his slurry voice told me he was getting the newspaper.  I heard the front door open.  After several minutes Josh did not return with the paper as usual.  I jumped out of bed and looked for Josh.  There was no sign of him any where.  I shouted his name and heard him from afar.  Josh had opened the gate to our gated community and walked down the street to the kiosks that have free newspapers such as The Rancho Santa News.  This was the first time that Josh had ever left our house and wandered off.  "Oh no!!", I thought....a new challenge.  I told Josh to never leave the gate as he could have easily been locked out and I could have still been sleeping.  Josh immediately started screaming, "Send me back to college, you bit**!!!"  

It is very difficult to reason with Josh when he is agitated.  

What a way to wake up !!!  It is hard to always speak in the correct tone of voice and be loving & caring.  Sometimes you just want to scream at the top of your lungs!!  "Why me ??!!!???"  No words can describe the pain a mother feels for her brain-injured son.  It is like a death every single day.  You think of what your son was like when he was a child -- smart, intelligent, ahead of his time, funny....

Now he is on social security disability and Medicare, has bathroom accidents, slurs his speech, walks with a gait, has balance issues and is a prisoner of the past.  ("Mom, is Michael Jackson dead ?  "Where is Mary?"  (my mother, his grandmother who died years ago....);  "Where are Ruffy and Daisy?" (our dogs who died years ago...) "Where is John Lennon?"  "Where is Junior Seau?"

AD INFINITUM    How sad is that !?!?  Nobody understands what you are going through.  All of your friends tell you, "You should be doing this and that....blah, blah, blah......"  "You need to do this and that....blah, blah, blah....."  THEY DON'T GET IT !!!!   

PERSEVERATION sucks.  This is when they do or say the same thing over and over and over again until you want to lay down and die !!!!  

I am trying to stay healthy so I can continue to care for Josh.  I will be 63 this month, not exactly a spring chicken.  haha !  I tried putting Josh at the Howard House on the weekends so I could have some free time but I did not feel comfortable about the situation.  I dropped him off on a Thursday and picked him up on Monday.  He was in the exact same clothes as when I dropped him off, he reeked of body odor and was filthy...  When I arrived, he was at the computer playing solitaire.  He said, "Mom, get me out of here !"   All of the other patients of the facility were sitting in their wheelchairs, off to one side of the room.... How depressing is that !!!  No interaction.  SAD !!!!  

 I am trying to make the most of my free time.   Music is a big part of my life.  It soothes the soul !   

That's all for now......      Josh, Me and Natalie

Josh looks pretty darn good, doesn't he ?  

Boogie-Woogie played by Paula Mendell

This post has nothing to do with Josh and his brain injury.  I thought I would post it for your listening pleasure.  Hope you like it.  Josh is my biggest fan !  Haha.  He thinks I hung the moon since his brain injury.  It wasn't exactly that way before the injury.  

Brain Injury Walk at DeAnza Cove, March 2014

I haven't updated Josh's blog since May of 2013.  That is pretty bad!  I guess I am burnt out as Josh's primary caregiver and no longer the cheerleader I once was....  Woe is me!  Since May of 2013, not too much has changed in Josh's life.  The good thing is he has not passed out recently!  Yah!  His orthostatic hypotension is under control (drop in blood pressure causing one to pass out (yuck!) and Josh is staying hydrated.  So, no trips to the emergency room lately.  That's a good thing!

Last Saturday (March 29th), we did the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation Walk at DeAnza Cove and it went quite well.  Josh, Zack (Josh's loyal and dedicated teacher), Natalie (his sister), Rachill (Natalie's friend) and I all walked for the cause.  They called it a walk for recovery.  I wish it were as simple as that.  You walk a few miles and you're recovered!  That would be wonderful.  It was actually quite emotional for me.  When we arrived at De Anza Cove, I was overwhelmed with emotion to see so many brain injured survivors there for the cause -- victims of car accidents, amputees, people in wheelchairs, people with walkers, stroke victims, aneurism victims, heart attack victims --  it is all so SAD I can't tell you.  Josh was a real champ!  He walked the three miles with ease.  In looking around me, I was immediately thankful that Josh was not in a wheelchair, could read  write, and speak.  So many victims are in wheelchairs and on life support (feeding tubes and trachs) and will be for the rest of their lives.  Although Josh is compromised in so many ways (no working memory, balance issues, perseveration, dysarthria (slurring of the speech)), he is not on any life support.  This is a wonderful thing!

Here's Josh wearing his Brain Injury Awareness, Survive Headstrong, Walk for Recovery tee shirt with his teacher Zack Dyl (far right), Natalie (second from the left) and Natalie's friend, Rachill at the big event.  I haven't checked the numbers yet, but I heard they raised over $50,000 !  That's pretty good, but really a drop in the buck in the big scheme of things.  Brain injuries are extraordinarily expensive!  As the sign above says, "Brain injury costs society an estimated $60 billion per year"!!  If you think you have excellent health insurance coverage, think again...  A brain injury is costly and can be financially devastating to families.  Not only are you dealing with the emotional aspect of the injury 24 hours a day, you have to provide care to your loved ones.  Very pricey....

But Josh is worth every penny!

Here's Josh holding a copy of his friend's book which was just published called The Skinny Confidential by Lauryn Evarts.  There is beautiful Lauryn.  My daughter, Natalie and I went to Lauryn's booksigning event at Rancho Valencia last weekend and picked up a personally autographed copy for Josh.  He was thrilled.  Josh and Lauryn have known each other their entire lives.  He has has adored Lauryn since grade school....  

The next blog entry will be on perseveration.  What is that you ask?  Stay tuned....

Love from the Mendell Family --  Happy Belated New Year!  This photo was taken New Year's Day, 2014 at Fletcher Cove in Solana Beach.  xoxoxoxo

Josh is now suffering from a condition called orthostatic hypotension.  This condition is a total and complete drag because it sometimes causes Josh to pass out.  Orthostatic hypotension causes a person's blood pressure to suddenly fall when standing up or stretching.  Medically it is a drop in the systolic blood pressure of at least 20 mms and a drop in the diastolic blood pressure of at least 10 mms when a person assumes the standing position.  Josh used to have a very high metabolism.  He would go to the gym with Don and work out like mad.  He'd get on one of the machines and burn 500-600 calories.  Now it is as if Josh is in slow motion.  He acts as if he is running out of batteries.  He is slow and lethargic.  A few times like today he has passed out and ended up in the Emergency Room of Scripps Hospital.  It is just horrible.  When Josh passes out, it is in the morning.  When this happens, I call 911. The paramedics come to the house, hook Josh up to an IV and take him to the ER.  I follow along in the car, panic-stricken and scared to death thinking "Why is this happening?  We were doing so well and now this?!"  

Here is Josh in the ER smiling away in spite of his condition.

Today I decided to research the causes of orthostatic hypotension and try to figure out what could possibly cause Josh to go from one extreme to another.  Why was he full of energy many months ago?  Why is he now lethargic and slow?  Well, a possible cause of orthostatic hypotension is the long term use of Lexapro, an anti-depressant.  Josh has been taking Lexapro every evening since he had the brain injury.  That's six years of accumulated Lexapro in his system.   The doctors explained that Lexapro could be calming to Josh and help lessen his libido.  These are good things as you don't want an aggressive, brain injured 20-something-year-old craving sex and acting inappropriately.  HOWEVER, you don't want your kid passing out either.  So, what do you do?  The cardiologists prescribe Midodrine which increases your heart rate.  Josh takes 5 mgs of Midodrine three times a day -- at 9 a.m., at noon and at 5 p.m.  So, now Josh is on two meds - one to calm him down, decrease his libido and cause orthostatic hypotension and one med to increase his blood pressure due to the side effect of the Lexapro which most likely caused the orthostatic hypotension.  It's kind of crazy.  I have decided to give Josh a smaller dose of the Lexapro (2.5 mgs which Dr. Stenehgem suggested) and continue with the Midodrine for a while, but to closely monitor Josh's blood pressure.  Midodrine can cause high blood pressure which is not a good thing.  

On a good note, Josh is very calm now and very appropriate.  He used to have no filter which is very common with brain injuries.  For example, a year or so ago, if Josh saw a very beautiful girl, he would walk up to her and give her a hug.  This is unfiltered behavior and can be offensive.  Josh does not do that any more.  He is reserved.  A year or so ago, if Josh saw someone that looked Hispanic, he would immediately start speaking in Spanish to that person, "Hola, como esta?", he would say.  This would, at times, offend the person.  Josh does not act like that anymore. When I bring Josh with me to the office, he will watch a movie on his PSP or play Lumosity on the computer or go on Facebook.  He is quiet and sticks to the task, sometimes for hours intently concentrating on whatever it is he is doing, totally oblivious to his surroundings.  A year or so ago, Josh would talk to every customer that came into Reliable Pipe.  He would blurt out, "What's your name?"  Those days are gone.  We now have the new and improved, reserved Josh.  I guess that is progress.  It is certainly easier to manage Josh when we go places.  It is easy for Josh's caregivers.  They like hanging out with Josh because he is easy and appropriate.  It is just so strange how brain injuries work.  

Josh is now 26 years old.

12/26/12

Happy 26th Birthday, Josh!

You have come a long way!  

dentedego - Paula and Josh- A Mothers Devotion and Loyalty

Josh and I at Candela's downtown at happy hour.

Yum.

dentedego - Paula and Josh- A Mothers Devotion and Loyalty

Check out this video that Brad put together from DentedEgo. Also, check out dentedego.com. It's a social network about people helping one another in need, regardless of what that need is.

It's been ages since I have updated Josh's blog. So much has happened. It's been over a year since the last update. The wheels are definitely turning in Josh's brain. It is good for him, but more challenging for me. As you can see from this picture of Josh, he can definitely multitask. He is playing Play Station Portable and is on facebook at the same time.

Josh's metabolism is now very speedy. He is pretty fit -- works out at the gym with his caregivers, Don and Rob. He continues to go to the ABI Program with his teacher, Zack. Zack also does brain-training with Josh every day, does yoga and stretching, takes walks at the beautiful parks in San Diego, takes Josh to his weekly swim lesson and his weekly Spanish lesson with Fernando, one of Josh's fellow ABI students. Josh's schedule is diverse and he is very lucky to have such great guys working with him. Oh yeah, we can't forget Mike Jones, Josh's tutor who helps Josh with his speech, reading, writing and "community skills".

Josh is now full of energy. Everything you hear about being exhausted after a brain injury does not apply to Josh. Josh will stay up all night if you let him. He will play Madden for hours, but is now doing a host of different things. For example, he got into sorting things and "organizing". One day he took every video and DVD out of it's case and starting putting them in different piles. He started throwing away numerous movies including Natalie's latest Christmas gift -- the entire last season of Glee. We, of course, told him this was not acceptable and that he couldn't throw out these DVDs simply because he didn't want them. We also told him that the cases protect the DVDs from getting all scratched up. After I put them all back in their cases, Josh took them all out again. We went back and forth with this. Finally, I just gave up and told him, "Don't throw any videos away, just put them in a separate pile and we'll deal with it later..." Josh also got into this thing where he was going through all his old school papers, notebooks, football and baseball cards and started putting things in trash bags. He'd say, "Throw all this away." At first I was upset, but then I decided that Josh was right about a lot of things. We did have too much junk from years past. So, I started sorting things out with him and we ended up throwing out tons of old school papers -- reports that he had written, old homework assignments, you name it.... We cleaned his room. It's easy to just throw everything in a drawer in the desk and forget about it. The good news is we got rid of a lot of junk and Josh's room is clean.

Josh's teachers at the ABI Program thought that Josh's sorting and organizing was a big breakthrough and was a good thing. Something in his brain was definitely waking up and causing him to "organize" things. I was thinking, "Is this obsessive, compulsive behavior?" It seemed obsessive at the time. Now it's over and we're on to the next thing whatever that may be. You never know what the future holds.... Just when I thought Josh was fairly predictable, he changed. I just don't want him to get into the hundreds of boxed football and baseball cards that are in his closet. When Josh was in grade school he would collect and organize those cards for hours. I think he has several complete collections and they are worth money. It would be a drag to wake up one morning and find Josh in a heap of cards sorting like a madman...

Josh went through a phase where he was getting up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. This really was a drag for me since I used to love to wake up early, make coffee, read in bed and chill for a while before the day got crazy and hectic. I was thinking, "I can't get a break... this is a drag..." This went on for several months. Now Josh is sleeping in until 7:15 or so. It's crazy when I think about how he used to sleep until noon or one o'clock. Now he's waking up with the birds.

Josh is still very difficult to understand which is frustrating for me since I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on speech therapists. It seems that the more his brain wakes up, the faster he talks. He slurs all his words together. He just came into the computer room, looked over my shoulder as I was typing this and said, "F U".

Josh is still very happy, very much of a team player, is extremely social and wants to talk to everyone including strangers. If we go to dinner, he wants to participate in everyone's conversation. The other night we were at the Fish Market and a couple of guys were watching the basketball game and talking about Michael Jordan. Josh then got up, went over to their table and said something totally indecipherable. Most people are good natured about this type of thing, but sometimes people really get freaked out and don't know what to say. It's like Josh has no filter and just reacts to a situation. This is called lack of executive function in the brain injury world. I am trying to work with Josh on this. It's tough. Josh will sometimes just scream like a crazy person. The screaming only lasts a few seconds and then he says, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." At least he knows that screaming is inappropriate.

A few months ago Josh started complaining that his heart "felt funny". One day as we were driving to work, Josh said, "Take me to the hospital. My heart feels funny." I said, "What do you mean your heart feels funny? What does it feel like? Are you in pain?" Josh said, "I have discomfort." I was thinking to myself, "Well, we have an appointment with Dr. Stenehgem at Sharp Rehab at 11:00. Why don't we just wait until then." I asked Josh if he felt it was an emergency and he said, "No, not really." So we went to work. I gave Josh an aspirin when we got to work. He then had a big breakfast from Lolita's and was laughing and joking with everyone. I figured everything was fine. We went to see Dr. Stenehgem at 11:00. I told him what Josh was saying about his heart and he suggested an EKG. The following morning, I took Josh to see Dr. Cortes, our family practitioner, and Josh had an EKG. Everything was fine. The next day Josh started complaining about his heart again. He said, "Take me to the hospital. I am in discomfort. It's my heart..." Josh was pacing. I decided to take him to the emergency room at Scripps. We went to the hospital, stayed there until the wee hours of the morning and after several tests the doctor said, "Josh is fine. We can't find anything." We went home and went to bed. Josh will periodically say, "My heart hurts. My heart feels funny." I have come to the conclusion that he is doing this to get my undivided attention. If I am talking with my girlfriends at a restaurant, Josh will say, "Mom it's my heart." Now, I have learned to say,

"Josh, you're fine. You're just a little anxious." Thankfully, Josh has not complained about his heart lately.

In spite of the fact that Josh is getting more challenging, he is also getting more manageable in many ways. I took him to the theater for the first time a few weeks ago and he did very well. We went to see Guys and Dolls at the Lamb's Theater in Coronado. Josh greeted everyone he saw but once the play started, Josh stayed focused and really enjoyed the show.

I think things are getting better. I have a permanent companion! Lucky me.

Thanks for reading Josh's blog.

Josh is reading an old post on the blog so it's time for an update!

Josh and Me at Torrey Pines Lodge having breakfast.

Mike, Angie and Tyler came to visit this summer. It was fun!

From left to right, Mike, Josh, Angie, Natalie and Tyler.

Don and Josh at Barona Casino where Josh made some money playing

Texas Hold 'Em.

This is what Josh did to his leg when he drove a golf cart!

It was horrible! This picture was taken at Scripps Hospital.

I think I better update Josh's blog before the year is over. Time is flying and before you know it Christmas will be here. I haven't updated Josh's blog in months. I am totally and completely burnt out on Josh's brain injury. I just walked in the computer room a few minutes ago and Josh had just googled, "When does Josh Mendell go back to Arizona?" Josh was reading an old blog post from 2008.... here we are two years later and it's the same old stuff. Josh keeps asking about college. Everyday he sends me a message on Facebook, "Send me back to Zona!" It's very nerve-racking and crazy... He apparently has some very vivid memories of his college days at U of A and thinks about it every now and then. I refer him to a tab in his planner which explains what happened to him and why he's not at college. I'll tell him, "Your brain needs to heal." Josh will scream, "My brain has healed!" Sometimes I'll say, "Don't you think you need a memory in order to return to college?" This is really not a good thing to say because sometimes he'll get angry. Sometimes I'll say, "Your brain is getting better, but you're not totally better." I guess the best thing to say is "Read your planner." It's better than trying to explain every time he asks...

Josh is now perseverating big time on his driver's license. He constantly asks, "Where's my driver's license?" So now we have a license tab in the back of his planner which explains why he doesn't have a driver's license. So when Josh asks this question, I say, "Read your planner." The planner explains about his DUI and the fact that the cop took his driver's license. It also explains that two days after his DUI he ended up in a coma from an overdose. He reads the planner, then goes downstairs and plays XBOX. Every so often, he'll yell, "Mom, where's my license?" It's very frustrating...

Speaking of driving, Don M., one of Josh's trainers and caregivers, let Josh drive a golf cart at the club, and Josh ended up with severe lacerations on his left leg. Instead of putting on the brakes, he stuck his leg outside of the golf cart and badly skinned his shin. It was horrible and extremely poor judgment on Don's part. I was livid. I took Josh to the hospital where they cleaned it up, put wound gel on it and covered it. He had an open wound for almost a month. I took him back to the hyperbaric oxygen clinic and he had several sessions. That's behind us now. After the injury, Josh would look at his leg and ask "What happened to my leg?" I had to make another tab in the planner called LEG and write a detailed explanation of what happened. I would tell Josh to refer to his planner whenever he asked the question. This was maddening...

It is still very hard for me to see Josh's progress, but his teachers at the ABI Program constantly tell Zack (Josh's caregiver and teacher who drives him every day to ABI) that Josh is improving. In fact, Josh is now attending the ABI Program in the afternoons as well as the mornings. The afternoon sessions are held at a cultural center downtown and are more like college classes meaning that you can pick which class you want to attend that day, such as reading comprehension, analytical reasoning and speech. This is a good thing. Josh's speech continues to be a problem and I have enrolled him in weekly sessions with Herb Hein at the Hein Speech Center. It is expensive, but hopefully will pay off over time. Herb is very animated and fun. Josh is enjoying the sessions and hopefully the constant cueing will pay off. We are constantly telling Josh, "Speak one syllable at a time...slowly." We also had a session with one of Josh's ABI teachers, Julie, who came to the house and taught us some of the exercises for the Beckman Oral Motor Assessment & Intervention method. This method actually calls for the speech teacher (or someone) to physically manipulate some of the muscles around the mouth. For example, the upper lip stretch requires that you put your index figure sideways on the upper lip and massage side to side. There are a series of exercises which we are supposed to do, but this requires that you put on rubber gloves and physically do the manipulations to the muscles. I can honestly say that I do not do this religiously with Josh. In fact, every day I say I am going to do the exercises with Josh, but then I don't. The exercises really don't take that much time, so I should definitely do them. I am just burnt out and sick of the whole thing!

I also have hired Pedro Leon, a physical therapist and brain injury consultant, to help with Josh's physical exercises. He has gone to the gym with Don on several occasions and instructed him on what he should be doing with Josh to maximize his balance and even out his left side which sustained more damage than the right side. Pedro wrote out a specific routine which Don now does with Josh when they go to the gym. Hopefully, this will help.

My nephew, Zach, came to stay with us for a few weeks this summer and was dying to go to a casino since he was 18 and could legally gamble at the Indian casinos. We went to Barona one evening. Natalie, Zach and I bopped around the casino and played slots while Josh and Don went to the poker room. Josh was walking as fast as he could. He was so thrilled to be in the casino. He knew just where to go and what to do. He ended up making some money playing Texas Hold 'Em. At first, he was down $52, but then ended up with $120. When Natalie, Zack and I went to check on him, there he was sitting with stacks of $1 chips in front of him. It looked like a lot of money, but all the chips were $1 chips. It's pretty amazing that Josh's short term memory works just fine when he's in a poker game. He was all smiles and remembered that he won for about two hours. That was fun.

That's all the news for now, folks. Thanks for keeping up with Josh's progress. Hopefully next time I update the blog I'll have some amazing breakthroughs to report.

It's been five months since I published a post on Josh's blog. Here's an update

We survived another Christmas and even managed to send out Happy Holiday greetings to our friends and family. The first half of the alphabet received a Happy Holidays greeting card and the second half of the alphabet received a Happy New Year's card. I didn't send out New Year's cards until almost the end of January. Oh well, I am behind in my life and am feeling pretty tired and overwhelmed lately. This, too, will pass as they say. I am actually very fortunate and have a great deal to be thankful for. I could be in a homeless tent with no family and friends in sight... My business is literally 15 yards from the Alpha Project Homeless tent which is set up each year for several months. I see people that are down and out every day and I think to myself, "Wow, how did it come to this?" The City of San Diego has slashed the hours of the police who are part of the Homeless Task Force which is really a shame. These are truly the only cops that I like since they act more like social workers and actually have files on most of the people in the streets. They do a lot of good in getting the homeless the help which they need. Times are really tough right now and we're seeing more and more people that are homeless that don't look the part at all...

Oh yeah, this blog is about Josh. I haven't updated the blog in five months. That's a long time. I think I have a lot to tell. I actually think Josh has improved a bit. Josh still wakes up every morning a happy camper. He whistles for the dogs and calls them in his high pitched voice, "Ruffy, Daisy!" He's sweet. Then he'll immediately go downstairs to fire up the XBOX and will scream every now and then that he's in the Super Bowl. He'll manipulate the game so the other team, most likely, the Raiders, cannot score at all. Nothing. Not even a field goal. Then, he'll yell, "Mom! Mom!" I'll go downstairs and he'll proudly show me the score with a huge smile on his face....something like 120 to 0. I'll say, "Congratulations! You're amazing." Then, I tell Josh he has to get ready for the ABI Program. He is still going four days a week. He is participating in class discussions and is somewhat of a ring leader now which is great. He still has terrible dsyarthria (slurring of the speech), but he'll keep talking until you understand what he's saying. He is very social and is still a team player. He just does not realize cognitively the seriousness of his injury which I think is probably a good thing in many ways. The psychologist used to tell me, "Just wait. Josh will eventually get extremely depressed over his condition..." This has not happened. I have stopped seeing Dr. B because I felt after seeing her for almost 2 years that I was not getting any useful information. Besides her office was piled so high with yellow legal pads that it made me nervous to sit in a rocking chair next to her and talk. One day I said to her, "You could probably just throw away that towering pile of notes and never miss a thing..." She just kind of smiled back. Not only did she have piles and piles of papers every where, she had half empty water bottles all over the place and bags of almonds and tins of mints every where. The waiting room was always full of patients and she spread herself so thin, it was not conducive to healing. Enough about her. Back to Joshy.

It's little things that I see that I make a mental note of and say to myself, "Yeah, I think Josh is getting better or at least more aware of what is happening around him." For example, Josh used to (and often still does) read every sign he saw while I was driving. He'd say, "Wells Fargo now open", "Chevy's Tex Mex", "Denny's open 24 hours", etc. Now he'll see a new restaurant and say, "We should try that place." Yesterday when we were driving through Little Italy, Josh asked if we could stop and eat at a new place.

The other day at dinner, Josh asked the waiter what the difference was between the shrimp tempura roll and some other roll. I was pretty impressed. I know this may sound like nothing to you guys, but it is a breakthrough. Josh is getting more cognitive.

A few days ago, Josh was multi-tasking. He was playing Play Station Portable and was on Facebook at the same time. He had the PSP in one hand and was typing with the other. He had never done that before. Speaking of Facebook, Josh is so cute, one day he wrote on his wall, "What day is it?" Somebody sent him a link to the day and time which I thought was cute. One day he wrote on my wall, "Mom, when am I going back to college?" Another time he wrote, "Mom, I love you." He wrote in his profile a single sentence -- "I love myself." He's funny. He constantly checks on Brittany's Facebook to see what she is doing and where she is. He still asks, "Am I still going out with Brittany?" He constantly tries to call her old cell number which now belongs to someone else. I think Josh told whoever answered the phone what our phone number was because the phone rang one night, I answered it and this guy says to me, "Someone from your house is calling and talking to my wife and he is speaking a 'foreign' language and it is annoying...." I explained to the guy that it was my son who had a brain injury and was dialing up his old girlfriend's cell phone number. The guy was understanding... Apparently, they just had a baby and it was annoying to constantly hear from Josh. Josh remembers everything from the past concerning numbers. He remembers every gate code we have ever had. Sometimes when we are walking home from dinner, he'll start pressing all these old combinations to get the gate to open. It's amazing that he remembers the combinations. Josh also remembers every maid that we have ever had. Sometimes before he goes to bed, he'll say, "Where's Elva?" or "Where's Matilda?" These gals have been gone for years.

Josh is now perseverating on a host of different topics. It used to be, "Where's Dad?" twenty four hours a day. I would say Josh's favorite topic to be stuck on is my age. He is absolutely amazed at my age. He'll say, "How old are you?" I tell him 56 and he says, "Oh, wow!!!" The other night my girlfriend, Ellen was having dinner with us and Josh whispers in my ear, "Who is older you or Ellen?" He has that smirk on his face. He just gets the biggest kick out of this age thing. He asks Mike Jones, Zack, and Don Mooney every day how old they are. He sometimes says, "Mom, how old am I? 23? 24?" Besides the age thing, Josh is now perseverating big time on the Super Bowl. He asks ten times a day or more, "Who's in the Super Bowl?" He also asks who the Chargers lost to in the playoffs. Josh cannot store what you tell him or what he sees or what he does for longer than a few minutes. He cannot transfer the event to the long-term memory part of his brain. The synapses do not connect. The event just dissipates and is gone from his mind. Every once in a great while, he will remember something that occurred a day or so ago.

Josh is doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy again. He has had four treatments in two weeks. Two back to back sessions and now he's going once a week. The treatments will keep him healthy and hopefully help with his balance.

That's it for now! Thanks for reading Josh's blog! Family and friends, please stop by any time. We had a great xmas holiday with our cousins, Chrissy and Bruce, pictured above in front of the Hotel Del Xmas tree!