Old fun pictures

Xmas 2008

Sarah and Me in Washington DC

Washington DC

December 2008

Last year - Russ, Jill and Josh at the Brig in Coronado

The Lopez girls came to visit a few months ago.

Martha and her daughters, Alana, Gina, Sabrina and grandgirls!

JOSH RETURNS TO WEST CITY CAMPUS ABI PROGRAM

Josh and his teacher, Julie

who is a speech pathologist at the ABI Program

(Acquired Brain Injury) at West City Campus

Julie tells Josh that his goal is to be understood by others. They do various speech exercises in class to accomplish this goal. Josh has dysarthria which is the inability to articulate words distinctly due to his brain injury. Hopefully with time Josh's speech will improve. It is interesting that when Josh first came out of the coma, his speech seemed clearer than it is now. Then as more time passed and his brain continued to heal, his speech became more slurred. This is because his brain is thinking faster now and Josh is speaking faster. He does not leave spaces in between his words.

Josh and his teacher, Zack

Zack drives Josh to all his therapies, works out with Josh daily and is a great buddy!







Due to massive budget cuts by the state of California, the ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) program was furloughed for nearly two months. The good news is that the program is starting up again on Tuesday and Josh will start attending once again. The State of California is in a major fiscal crisis. They have cut programs left and right, have closed post offices and DMVs (Department of Motor Vehicles) and have laid off thousands of state workers. State funded programs for the disabled have been hit extremely hard. Luckily, the ABI was not totally cut from the budget, but was furloughed for nearly two months. I did manage to keep in touch with Josh's teachers, Joanne and Julie, during the summer and am happy and thankful that they will be returning come Tuesday, September 8. I need to take a picture of Josh with Joanne, his other ABI teacher and post it on the blog. Joanne has a background in psychology. She is animated, dedicated to her students and fun.

Josh will be attending three days a week or more. The good thing about the ABI program is its flexibility. You can attend as little or as much as you want. It is there for you every single day.

I have been letting Josh sleep late every morning. I tell myself that I must honor the healing power of sleep, believe in the plasticity of the brain and its ability to recover. Come Tuesday, I will have to wake Josh up early and get him to the ABI program on time. The good news is Josh wakes up happy with a big smile on his face. He is a team player and is totally sweet.

Josh still takes swimming lessons with Tim every Tuesday and is making progress. Tim is wonderful and kind -- a very patient man with a big heart. Next time I observe Josh's swim lesson, I want to see him do the butterfly stroke across the pool. That would be nice. Sometimes when I observe Josh in the pool, he just looks all around and does not focus on what Tim is saying. He wants to greet everyone he sees. He waves to everyone and knows all of the staff at Noonan Family Swim by name. It's cute, but maddening. I say, "Josh, focus on what Tim is saying..." I get frustrated. I want results. I want Josh to be BETTER.

I have been experimenting with Josh's meds. He now takes 10 mg. of Lexapro every other day. It seems to be working for him from a cognitive standpoint. He was taking Cymbalta and Lexapro, but was too spacey and lethargic. Mike Jones, his tutor, commented on how slow and lethargic Josh was in the afternoons. He was just spacing out and moving extremely slowly. It would take him forever to get dressed. I couldn't deal with it so I started to experiment with his dosages. Everything seems to be a crap shoot with brain injuries. You have to be your own advocate and take things in your own hands. You try this and you try that.

I am trying to limit Josh's XBOX playing since he will literally melt into the couch and play for hours. He loves the new 2010 John Madden game. They have female commentators and new graphics. I must admit, we take the PSP (Play Station Portable) to dinner and when I take Josh to Reliable. It keeps him occupied and he absolutely loves it.

Some people with brain injuries can't do anything. They have no interests or are totally incapable. I think of this young football player, Scott, who is in a wheelchair, can't walk, can't talk, but understands what you tell him. He got totally nailed on the football field, had some kind of bleed, then went back in the game and got slammed. It is sooooo sad. We met him at HBOT. He has had hundreds of treatments, but is not making the progress Josh made. His poor mother is so worn out. When I think of Scott, I am so thankful.

I am thinking of starting up again with the hyperbaric oxygen treatments. The treatments really help with mobility, circulation and inflammation. The drawback for Josh is the over stimulation. I could use a treatment myself and it would be fun to see Bob Sands and his staff. Bob is the most optimistic guy in the world. He's fun, definitely a breath of fresh air.

Josh still asks the infamous question, "When am I going back to college?" The other day, Mike Jones asked Josh to use the word "confident" in a sentence and Josh said, "I am confident that I will return to college." A year ago if Mike asked Josh the same question, Josh would say something like, "The word confident is in the dictionary."

I decided to update this blog today after seeing the movie, "Julie and Julia". Amy Adams who played Julie in the movie kept a blog about her cooking adventures. She gave herself one year to cook over 400 recipes of Julia Childs. It was very entertaining and Meryl Streep did a phenomenal job of being Julia. The movie also made me want to start cooking, so perhaps tomorrow I will start...

Love to everyone ! Natalie and I are looking forward to seeing everyone in Chicago for Auntie Helen and Uncle Mark's 60th anniversary!

Oh yeah, Natalie is back in Boulder and loving it. She has a brand new apartment (literally just built). We had fun furnishing it! She can walk to campus.

It's been a while....

It's been a while since I have updated the blog. I was waiting for some new and exciting news to share with everyone about Josh's progress. Well, it's not exactly a monumental breakthrough, but it is PROGRESS -- Josh has started the ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) Program at West City Campus in Point Loma and is actually attending classes daily from 9 to noon. He's in a real classroom with great instructors who are totally and completely dedicated to the brain injured -- trues heroes. The ABI program provides guidance to those with brain injuries in areas of self-awareness, social skills, cognitive skills training in areas of memory, problem-solving, organization and time management.

Josh has been so sheltered since the brain injury. All of his therapies have been one on one. It's time to branch out and be in a social setting like a college!!! I was a complete train wreck the first day Josh attended, but Zack was with him and Josh did amazingly well! The first day everyone introduced themselves to Josh and explained what had happened to them -- one by one each person told their pitifully, sad, heart-wrenching story. They would say something like, "Hi Josh, my name is Susan and I was in a terrible car wreck... Hi Josh, is that your name? I have trouble remembering names...forgive me... I had an aneurysm... Hi Josh, welcome to the class, my name is Peter and I had an overdose... Hi Josh, I had a stroke... Hi Josh, my brain was hurt at work... " Josh was silent and totally appropriate. He listened. He did not laugh when someone slurred their speech. He was taking it all in... I, on the other hand, was holding my breath so I wouldn't burst into tears at any moment. It was so hard to listen to their stories. The worst story of all was told by a gentleman who was strapped in his wheelchair with nearly unintelligible, slurred speech... he explained that he went in for surgery and "the doctor made a boo boo." He went to the hospital for some kind of ear operation and ended up with a horrible stroke, which messed up his equilibrium and the right side of his body including his eye... I nearly lost it when I heard his story. How sad and unfair!!

The great thing about the ABI program is that the program allows the instructors to tailor their lessons to the individual challenges of each student. It is small and personal. The students are encouraged to mingle and interact with one another. During the break, Josh went over to a bunch of guys who were playing dominoes and joined in. Zack called me at work to tell me that Josh showed the class how to log onto Facebook. He remembered his new password, logged on and the class applauded him!

Mike Jones, Josh's tutor, had been gearing Josh up for his big debut at the ABI Program. He discussed the program with Josh everyday for about a week prior to him starting the program. He helped Josh with all the paperwork and wrote the dates and times Josh would be attending in his planner. Mike is awesome. That's Mike in the picture at the start of this blog entry.

Natalie is home from college. She had a great first year at Boulder and will be living in an apartment when she returns in the fall. Natalie and I are going to Maui June 3rd and can't wait! I think Josh will soon be traveling with us. I don't want to do a 6 hour flight to start off -- maybe a trip to Chicago. Family, friends, please come visit us! We miss you all !

I have one other thing to tell you all - Josh came with me to a "Gambling Gourmet" party - a bunch of my girlfriends get together once a month at somebody's house and we eat, drink, laugh a great deal and play cards! Well, guess who won all the money -- yeah, you guessed it -- JOSH!! He was a riot. He remembered all the wild cards in each game that we played and kept trying to up the ante. In one game, I kept telling Josh to fold... he held on and his last card was the 5 of hearts for a FULL HOUSE! He took all the money and said, "Mom, let's go. Thank you, Ladies, it's been a pleasure!"

"Girls become lovers that turn into Beasts!"

A few weeks ago while having breakfast the radio was on and John Mayer's tune "Daughters" was playing. Josh and I were singing along with the tune and I sang "Girls become lovers that turn into ____, looking to Josh to fill in the blank and he blurts out "Beasts". It was hysterical. Josh said, "That's what happens, Mom, they turn into beasts!" He's so funny... Josh may have lost his mind, but he hasn't lost his sense of humor. He makes me laugh a lot!


While driving one day, Josh was annoying me with all his persistent and constant questioning about this and that. He looks at me and says, "How old am I?" I said, "Josh, you know how old you are...why do you ask questions that you know the answers to?", and Josh says, "I am insecure." He's so cute... I said, "Are you confused because of the brain injury or insecure?" He says, "I guess I am confused...."

Josh started swimming lessons at Noonan's Family Swim School in Del Mar. Just as Josh had to learn to walk all over again, he has to learn to swim. It took a while to find someone that was willing to take Josh on. It's not easy to find a swim instructor who works individually with someone like Josh unless, of course, you pay through the nose for private therapy and then it's in a hospital-like setting. Josh's instructor, Tim, is from NYC and is very cool. He's smart, animated and fun. The water is warm which helps and Josh is a willing participant. Both Josh and Natalie completed the Junior Lifeguard Program when they were little and were good swimmers. I think it's crucial that everyone know how to swim... Hopefully, Josh will be boogie boarding by the summer.

Josh is also doing FeldenKrais Yoga !

Here's Joshy and his instructor doing FeldenKrais yoga which I learned about after reading, "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. I may have mentioned this book before. It's a brain scientist's personal journey to recovery after suffering from a massive stroke. She made a total and complete recovery which took her 8 years. She mentioned that this type of yoga helped her physically heal. Josh used to have private lessons at the house, but now he goes to classes every Monday night at the Encinitas Recreation Center. Don takes him and it's great for Josh to get out and interact with a group.

As for me, I have had a setback with a lateral meniscal tear to the right knee which totally and completely has thrown me for a loop... It hurts and has thrown off my body...my right lower back hurts and I am irritable from the pain. It doesn't help to have tons of stairs all over the place. It particularly hurts when I go down stairs as that movement of bending the knee as you descend stairs pulls at the meniscus. OUCH!!! I am hopping all over the place. I am trying to heal without surgery, but may have to take the plunge if things don't work out. I have had an MRI and two opinions so far... I had a cortisone shot which made me nauseous for two days... yuck! I miss tennis and feel like I am 3000 pounds...not too bueno. I don't do well with ice packs, rest and immobilization...

I just flicked on the tv and saw Dr. Amen on KPBS ranting and raving about being positive in life. He just said something like, "Notice what you love about your life...don't focus about what you hate about your life... this will interfere with creativity, learning and being positive, happy and hopeful..." Easier said than done, huh?

I went to Las Vegas last weekend to hang out with Chicago cousins,Cathy and Zach, at the Palazzo! Zach wanted to check out the hotel and hospitality management program at the university there. We had fun losing money! Carrie made arrangements for us to be in this killer, luxury suite, with three bathrooms and flatscreen tvs all over the place. When you took a shower, you didn't even have to move, you got blasted from every angle with water... very cool. Thanks, Carrie! With minimum bets of $15 and $25 at the tables, you could go broke very fast... We did manage to have one nice dinner at Carnevino...

Cathy and Zach with Humpdy Dumpty somewhere at the Palazzo.

That's it for now! Oh yeah, Natalie.... she is doing great, thank heavens! I'll be going to Boulder to visit in a few weekends! I am trying to keep the sanity with my little trips here and there. It rejuvenates me to get away! When I return from my excursions, I can deal better with Josh.

I want to say thanks to the people who are reading my blog, especially to those who are dealing with loved ones who have brain injuries and for those of you who are dealing with your own brain injuries. It is so difficult and we truly need to support one another in every way we can. For those who read my blog that live in my neck of the woods, (Del Mar and surrounding communities), please email me at paulamendell@gmail.com if you want to get together for coffee to exchange ideas and inspire one another.

We survived the holidays.

Christmas 2008

Well, it's been more than three months since I have updated Josh's blog. I have to get used to this new format since AOL closed their journal service. This blog is presented by Google. All you have to do is open a Google email account and you're good to go.

The holidays have come and gone, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years... We survived and actually had some fun! Natalie was home from college for nearly a month and the house was full of kids coming and going. Natalie is truly the organizer. She brings people together and it is a wonderful gift. Natalie and Josh's pre-injury girlfriend, Brittany, arranged a get together at the house for Josh's 22nd birthday. Natalie made a few phone calls and voila...lots of Josh's college buddies came over and hung out. It was fun for Josh. They brought him a Charger hat and slippers and lots of lottery tickets. He was delighted. They hung out for a bit and played xbox downstairs. I left them alone.

Brittany was home for the holidays and she came to visit Josh several times. She handled things very well and Josh was genuinely happy to see her. He oftens asks me, "Mom, am I still going out with Brittany?" He's trying to sort things out. They haven't been together in several years, but when she heard of Josh's accident, she immediately was in touch wtih Natalie and followed his progress. Josh was shy and cute in front of her and Brittany said, "Wow, Josh is shy now. He's sweet."

Joshy and Brittany, December 2008

The post-injury Josh is sweet and lovable, very different from before.

Natalie and I went to NYC from the 17th of December to the 21st. We had an incredibly fun time, shopping, going to restaurants and shows and of course going to Rockefeller Center to see the infamous xmas tree with all its glitter and glamour. The city was decorated to the nines in spite of the economy. The department stores were all gorgeously adorned and the sales were incredible, 75% off with scanners all over the stores. Natalie and I had to buy another suitcase for all our purchases. We saw Liza Minnelli at the Palace. They serve wine in tipee cups so you don't spill the stuff all over the place. You're allowed to bring the wine to your seat. So I sipped wine and watched Liza sing and dance. She got a standing ovation. The girl can sing like there is no tomorrow, a real entertainer. We saw In the Heights which won a tony award for best musical last year. We both loved it.

These long weekend excursions are good for me because when I return I am refreshed and ready to handle Josh and his craziness. On the flight to NYC I hit the jackpot. I sat next to a neuropsychologist. He was wildly typing on his laptop and glanced over at me and said something about "reports". I asked him what type of work he did and he said he was a neuropsychologist. He was working on IEP's. We talked about Josh and his injury. We talked about hyperbaric oxygen therapy and various medications. He asked me specifically what Josh's symptoms were and I told him about the maddening perseveration and how he asks me over and over again the same questions, "When am I going back to college?"... "Where's Dad?" He said Josh was experiencing anxiety and said for this type of anoxic injury that Josh should be on twice or three times the dose of Lexapro. He said all antidepressants regenerate brain cells. When I got home from NYC, I googled this guy, checked out his credentials, then called Josh's rehab doctor, Dr. S. Dr. S. increased Josh's dosage to 20 mgs. of Lexapro and guess what? Josh is calmer and more focused. He still asks the questions, but less frequently. I also notice small, subtle changes in him. For example, he'll say, "I really miss Dad" or "I wish Dad were here." This is better than "Where's Dad?" Sometimes before he goes to bed, he'll say, "I miss Dad and Armen. I miss Mary, too." I think Josh's mind is flooded with memories of them and he's still sorting things out. He knows they are gone, but thinks about them all the time. One time after having a cranial sacral massage, Josh just sobbed for about one minute and said, "I really miss Dad..." I thought this was a breakthrough... who knows?

Josh stayed up until 1:30 a.m. after the inauguration. He said "Good" when he saw Bush get on the plane to head to Texas. He thinks Obama is "cool". I asked Josh who the vice president was and he said "John McCain"... Josh definitely makes you laugh. Josh was petting Ruffy on the couch as he was watching the events of the inauguration. He says, "Is Ruffy a negro?" -- crazy Josh. When practicing his speech, his tutor gets a hand mirror and asks Josh, "What do you think this mirror is for?" and Josh says, "To admire myself." "No," Mike says, it's to watch your lips when you talk so you'll learn to open your mouth and enunciate clearly." Josh just laughs. He says to Mike, "Is that your car?" Mike says, "yeah." Josh says, "It's okay for a girl." Then he laughs.

Josh is happy and much sweeter, especially to me. He'll say, "Mom, I love you so much. Thanks for everything." Suddenly, Josh thinks I hung the moon. The other day I took Josh to work with me. He hung out with the guys at Reliable while I went to see my psychologist, Dr. B. When I returned to work and opened the front door, Josh was so happy to see me, he came up to me and hugged me, just like a child again. It's definitely different...

Josh is having HBOT again. We really see a change in Josh after the treatments. He read a book for about 15 minutes after having the treatment. He then went downstairs, turned the television on and was watching the news. This was a first. It's not just flipping on the tv. He had to shut off the xbox, go into the input menu and change from one screen to another. Later that evening, he was watching a movie in his room. He's doing more than just playing xbox. Josh also remembered that he went to HBOT the next morning! This is particularly huge! Remembering what you did the next day is pretty amazing since most of the time Josh's working memory is about 20-25 minutes long. It's weird how he'll remember certain things and not others. Why would he remember going to HBOT but not remember going to an entire Charger game which is so much longer and exciting? Who knows?

Josh knows that Natalie is going to college at Boulder and will always say, "Why aren't I in college?" I'll say, "You know why," and Josh will say "Because of the brain injury?" Josh always asks questions he knows the answers to. Sometimes he'll just look at Zack or Mike Jones and say, "What's your name?" He sees these guys every day. They'll say, "Oh come on, Josh." Then, he'll say, "Mike" or "Zack".

I am working on getting Josh into a swimming program. When he was a kid, he completed the junior lifeguard program and received his certificate. He used to love to boggie board. I play golf with a gal whose son owns the Noonan Family Swim School in Del Mar...so I am working on getting a male instructor for Josh. We need to get that kid in the water again. Josh hasn't been in the water since the injury. He needs to get his fluidity back and swimming would be great therapy.

Josh is taking a class in FeldenKrais yoga which is designed to increase your range of motion. Josh is such a team player. Don takes him to the class on Monday nights. Josh never says, "I don't want to go." He's a sport. Don's been working out with Josh practically every night. Josh is pretty fit. He comes home from the gym soaked. Josh is continuing with his Cognition Ignition program which is helping him cognitively. He's also tutored every day from 3:30 to 5:30. I couldn't ask for a better tutor than Mike Jones. He works with Josh on all kinds of programs including the interative metronome program which helps Josh with his speech and coordination. You set the metronome to a certain speed and as it ticks away, you recite various exercises to the beat. It's all about speech and coordination.

That's it for now, folks! Thanks for listening and Happy New Year!!! xo